Publicity Stunt (Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello)

i hate you, i love you,

(("Trigger" warning))

{Camila}

When Shawn first invited me to hangout with him I thought he just wanted to hang out then he brought me to the roof and it looked so romantic. It must've been almost half way through the movie I tried to kiss Shawn because I thought that was where the night was supposed to be going. Apparently that was not where it was going. He pulled away from me and this shouldn't have really made this big of a thing to me but it really hurt. I wanted to go home until I remembered that Shawn drove me here. The next thought that went through my head was to get Brian or Ian to take me home, that's how desperate I was to get home. But then I remembered that when we got here the house was silent telling me that they were not here.

Shawn and I awkwardly sat as far away from each other for the rest of the movie. Once the movie was over Shawn looked at me and flashed a forced smile. He then sat up and headed to the door we went through to get to the roof, I silently followed him. The whole car ride home I fought back tears my face got progressively hotter.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. My eyes welled up and tear started falling from my face. I turned my head to the window so that Shawn wouldn't see me crying. I was trying to sniffle quietly but apparently it wasn't working because turned toward me and spoke.

"Mila, I said I was sorry."

"No Shawn it was my fault..." my voice trailed off.

"No its not. I just don't think we can work. I don't want to see you anymore," Shawn said as he gripped the wheel.

"O-Okay," I said as I fumbled with my seat belt and the car door. I stormed to my front door, I was almost there when I heard a car window roll down.

"Mila," Shawn yelled for my attention. But I didn't give it to him I slammed by door and ran to my bathroom drug cabinet.

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{Shawn}

I was expecting the car ride to be completely silent but in reality it was filled with Camila's sniffles. She wouldn't look at me or even look forward at the road I think she thought I couldn't tell that she was crying. I would be fine with her being angry at me because at least she would have someone to blame but crying to me didn't say that Camila was angry. I knew that she had felt that what happened tonight was her fault. When we stopped at her house she finally looked at me revealing her tear stained face but only because I spoke to her first.

I felt anger building up inside of me as I was trying to explain to Camila that it wasn't her fault. I needed to explain to her what was going on and that I couldn't hurt her. But she got out of my Jeep and I will myself to stop her until it was too late. Camila was on her front porch when I yelled her name in an effort to get her to turn around but she kept walking.

This whole time I was trying to keep Camila safe but all I did was hurt her. At least this way she would be able to move on from me. Find someone who could give her the time I couldn't. I just couldn't lift the weight. I shoved Camila out of my thoughts as I drove home to get my running gear and clear my head.

Half way through my run my music was interrupted by a call, I pulled my phone out of my running shorts.

Jordan

Answer|Decline

I clicked answer only to hear a disheveled Jordan on the other side of the line.

"Are you with Camila," he questioned me I could tell he was panicked by the tone in his voice.

"N-No I dropped her off a few hours ago. Why," I said as I tried to catch my breath.

"She was supposed to be in a meeting with the label an hour ago."n

"Jordan, I-I messed up," I said my voice becoming shaky.

"Shawn get to her house now. I'm in New York."

I hung up the phone and tried to control my shaky hands as I typed Ally's contact name and pressed call.

"Hey S-," Ally started before I interrupted her.

"Where are you get to Camila's house now."

"She doesn't want my hel-."

"Now Ally," I said as I hung up my phone and bolted to my Jeep. I sped down the high way speeding the whole way. A drive that should've taken me 45 minutes only took me 20.

I saw three police cars in Camila's drive way, I ran past them as they tried to tell me to stay back. I ignored them and could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I ran up the stairs stumbling a few times as I reached the door I saw what looked like hundreds of long white pills sprawled across the floor. But no Camila. I started running and searching the upstairs but I didn't know where to start. I heard stomping coming up the stairs two large hands grabbed me and turned me around. The officers kept trying to tell me to tell me I couldn't be there but I kept repeating one phrase.

Where is my girlfriend. Is she dead.

Every time I repeated it I said it louder, maybe if I say it louder they will actually respond. I have no idea how many times I kept asking, everything seemed so fake. At one point I was so angry I think I punched a wall because they wouldn't tell me anything. After I put a hole in Camila's wall the officers tried to pick me up by my arms and remove me from the house. I didn't have enough energy to even try to fight them. Tears fell down my face as I stomped to my Jeep. Before I got there I saw a woman packing up her medical equiptment and putting it in an ambulance.

"Where is she," I yelled trying to catch my breath. The lady just looked at me with big eyes.

"Where is she," I said a little more calmly this time as tears fell from my cheeks.

"St. Mary's down the road. Go straight, left then right. That'll take you to the emergency room," the woman said as she walked toward door of the ambulance.

I didn't say thank you because I was already running the rest of the way to my Jeep. I sped off whipping the tears from my eyes.