An Unexpected Addition (Fili Fiction)

Chapter 19

I just wasn't able to sleep for the longest time. Kili had me worries sick when he would thrash and kick about in the other room. I could hear his screams coming from the kitchen as if they were being made right in my ear and I could almost guarantee all of the neighbors knew what was going on. Kili was going to die. 

I was preparing myself for the knees and trying to pretend that he was already gone, ignoring the heart wrenching cries and moans coming from the doorway. I had to get up and close the door but nobody noticed because they were all much too busy trying to hold him down. In the bed I was so cold and so scared. I was shaking like a leaf and I'm not entirely sure if it was from my nerves or my fear that quaked through me for hours. Eventually someone came and knocked on the door that I had shut what seemed an eternity ago. 

"Pilda, come on! We need your help!" The voice was loud, desperate and shockingly distanced so when I opened my eyes and bolted to the door, I was expecting something scarier than I got. There was just an elf. The red haired one who clutched some green weeds in her hand while shoving pots and pans out of her way. Everyone was circled around Kili as he flailed wildly , screaming at the top of his lungs. I wanted to vomit already... 

I rushed to grab and pin Kili's foot and keep  it pressed to the table as the red haired elf who went by the name of Tauriel mushed the leaves into his leg. Kili's breath rattled but calmed to short heaves as she rocked herself back and forth, making a damn mess on the table out of the green weeds. The whole thing seemed like some sort of satanic ritual and made me want to vomit even more, in fact, as soon as Kili stopped resisting Tauriel's weird magic chanting, I let go of him and hurled onto the floor. I grossed myself out and soon enough I had Tilda vomiting too who apparently pukes at the sight of another person's retching. How nice. I'd started a private party. 

Fili dragged me and the girl out onto the deck where we had our little party and I cleaned myself up at the water. Tilda did the same and I offered for us to take a rest from the action outside. She was happy to do so. 

As we sat together beside the water under the stairs, I shivered as the cold wind slipped it's way across the water, making itself even chillier. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked me, scratching at the wooden doc. 

"Well enough." I answered and it wasn't totally a lie. I'd been needing a good vomit for a while now but haven't found the perfect opportunity to do so. "If you have anything at all you'd like to say, say it. This is a great moment do ask me anything or to say anything you want, isn't it? I'm a bit of a judgy person but I think I can hold it back for a good ten minutes." 

Tilda started to chuckle for a second and then gave me a sincere laugh. "There are a few things I'd like to say, even if you asked me to say them in a rather strange way."

I gave her a half smile and looked at the water quake. It seems more scared for what was to come in the mountain than myself. That was certainly reassuring...

"Have you noticed the similarities in our names? Tilda," she put a hand to her chest, "and Pilda."

"Well, yes." I admitted. 

"That is a little funny." 

"Before you suggest we're long lost sisters or something I'd like to remind you that I'm a hobbit and you are a girl." I tapped her nose with my finger and she swatted it away with a light smile. 

"Don't be foolish!" She giggled to herself again and sat up straight, obviously about to make her second statement. "Do you have affection for the prince?"

"Oh my lord!" I suppressed the urge to tap her nose again and just gave her a funny look instead. "Prince Fili? That is such an.... observant? No. Odd? Yes. What an odd question, Tilda! How do you come up with such jokes." 

I'm so stupid. 

I just have asked with prince.

My face was a fiery red mess.

How did I get to be so stupid?

I watched Tilda's eyebrows raise as she pondered about what I'd just said. Ugh... 

"I meant the elf prince!" Tilda continued to redden but then as I laid back on my side under the wooden stairs she began to roar with even more laughter than before."The dwarf prince?! You've grown fond of the dwarf prince?"

I could have smashed my head into a will at that point and I wanted to cover Tilda's mouth with as much of my hand as I could but i decided to work with my mistake. 

"The dwarf prince, Fili is in fact a handsome man but I'll have you know, I do not fancy him." I tried to give her my most serious face but the girl must have been the queen of young girl's gossip and began shouting the fact across the water. How stupid I'd been. 

"Well that's wonderful that you think that but let me tell you again that I do not fancy the dwarf." I gave her the same intensity of a stare but she saw through it and continued to call it across the water and through the houses. I panicked... 

"Tilda, don't tell anymore lies to the town! They'll want to know the truth, won't they? Here's the truth; I'm married to a man named Damian Doscover. He's a lovely hard working hobbit who used to work in a bakery but decided to follow his dreams and became a ... Er... A fancy chef for a Lord just outside of Middle Earth."

"Outside of Middle Earth?" She asked, a little confused but amazed at the same time. 

"Yes he received an invite in the mail to work for a Lady and Lord to the South of Middle Earth."

"So when do you two actually get to see each other?" 

"I travel a lot for my work so I visit often...."

"And what exactly is your work, Pilda?"

What is this, twenty questions?

"I'm a letter deliverer. I mostly work down South so it isn't that hard to see my love."

What a wonderful lie this whole thing turned out to be... I love telling fake stories to people because it gives me an excellent opportunity to express my creativity.  

Eventually Tilda and I returned to the house and as soon as I entered Fili gave me a cheeky smile with a daunting wink.  Damn me.