Gone

39.

Is There Somewhere by Halsey

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Sitting on the chair by her hospital bed was McAllister, "you in my room sitting in a chair and not in my bed? Didn't think that would happen," Stone mutters through her dry throat.

"Me neither." He mutters as he grabs her a bottle water.

"But I want to make sure you rest," she gives him a look.

"I need to be supervised now?" He gives her a serious look.

"You never did?" She glares at him.

"Ha," she mutters dryly.

She raises her hand to grab the bottle only to be stopped by the restraints, she panics, "what is this?"

She starts fighting the restraints, "hey it's okay. It was for your safety, don't worry I'll take them off," McAllister calms her down before removing the restraints. Amoura sits up and massages her wrists.

"Why are you so I'm - whatever you want to call what you're doing?" Amoura says as she raises a hand and does a circular movement to refer to all of him.

"Caring? Well it's because I care for you Amoura Stone besides it's not every day my lover gets shot twenty-four times and lives," she sits up on her arms.

"That's what I'm reduced to? Lover?" He smiles at her annoyance.

"You won't let me be more. Besides we only had sex a few times, what am I suppose to call you?" He teases a bit.

"I have no idea what we are supposed to be," Amoura lays back down.

"You do, you just refuse to accept it," Amoura sighs at his words.

"I don't deny my feelings for you, I wouldn't be sleeping with you if I did," Amoura lays on her back and stares at the ceiling.

"So why deny the pleasure love has to offer?" He counters.

"Because when it fails there will only be pain, and I'm tired of being in pain," Stone mutters as she grows exhausted.

"You don't know that we'll fail," he replies.

"You don't know that we'll  succeed," Stone counters before going quiet.

"We're not mates, we will fail. You'll find yours and then I'll be left with a broken heart, and I don't need any more broken pieces of me," Clive looks at Stone who refuses to look at him.

"Reapers don't have mates, not the way werewolves do. Reapers find a significant other and picking that one person is what makes them their mate," they fall into silence as Stone stares at the ceiling.

"Do you honestly think we could amount to anything?" He stays silent as Stone continuous insecurities about them swarm his head.

"Or will you Clive McAllister one day realize I'm not worth chasing?" Stone asks.

"I'll never understand how you can not see your own worth," Clive says as he rests his leg over his thigh and claps his hands together.

"That's because all I see is the person Alzack made me and she's not worth love," Amoura mutters as she stirs in bed.

There's silence for a while before McAllister speaks up, "you turned into what Alzack wanted to survive so why can't you adapt to something else now that you get to live?"

Stone turns on her side, facing away from McAllister as her stomach starts turning, "because the person I was before is gone. And even if I could get her back I don't think she'd survive all the horrors."