Breaking The Grey [Book #2]

Chapter 17: Part 2

North

Allie sits down on the bed, slowly and carefully. I tilt my head and study her. Her movement is improving, but I still think she's pushing herself too fast.

Her grey joggers hug her legs and hips. Her shirt is off right now, but she has a white sports bra on. I can see the red scratches and cuts aligned at her sides. They're getting better.

"What're you staring at?" She asked snapping me out of it.

"Your cuts and stuff," I replied. "They're healing."

She scoffed, "Yeah, barely. My skin is gonna look like absolute shit by the time they heal. Stamos said I'll be scarred."

"They won't be that bad." I said.

She shrugged, "Whatever. Just happy it isn't my face."

"I spoke to Jim today," I mentioned. "Your best friend. I know you probably don't remember him completely, but he wants to see you and hang out."

"Jim ..." She repeated. "Jim Turner."

I nodded, "Yeah, Jim Turner. He took care of you for a while."

"I would like to see him," She said. "How is he?"

"He's good," I replied. "He's really worried about you."

"I've definitely been better."

I smile slightly, but it quickly fades. I play with my hands, going over the conversation Jim and I had at the bar. I can't help, but to feel like I've failed with Allie in a way. Like our relationship has been on hold and there's no way to get it moving again.

"Was I a whore?" She asked randomly, making me grimace slightly at the vulgarity of her question.

"What?" I replied.

She stares at me with a blank face.

"Was I a whore? You know, before you. Before everything."

"Allie ... what makes you think you were a whore?"

"I was staring at this girl in the center and I realized that looking at her stretch turned me on, but it's not her. It's just ... the thought of her body, I guess," She said with the straightest face I've ever seen.

An uncomfortable feeling starts marching through my veins, "So you think you're a whore because you're admiring someone ... sexually?

"I'm a whore because I've fucked a lot. I know that now."

Her use of words makes me itch. Allie isn't a slut shaming type of person. Neither am I. Sex is sex and the amount of times people have it should never be a determining factor of their worth. It shouldn't have a negative effect on anyone.

I will never understand why sex is such a taboo thing. One minute people are all for it and the next people hear the word and immediately associate bad names with it.

I shook my head, "Stop saying that word. It's not like you."

She spoke sadly, "But I am. All the women I've had sex with just for my own pleasure, cause I wanted them and I knew I could get them."

"We don't slut shame. Not even ourselves." I replied.

"Is that why you don't want to have sex with me?" She asked.

I sighed, "Allie I've told you why already. There's nothing more to it."

She continued, "Does it bother you? Knowing that I've fucked a lot of women?"