Breaking The Grey [Book #2]

Chapter 19

North

I knock on Maliah's door. I probably have about an hour and half before I have to pick up Allie. Lucky for me, Maliah is free to make some extra money off of me.

The front door opens and reveals a very sleepy looking Jax Keen. She's in pajamas and this is the first time I've seen her hair out of a ponytail.

"What're you doing here?" She asked dryly.

I cleared my throat, "Sort of an emergency. I need to see your girlfriend."

Her eyes look me up and down, "You look fine."

"I'm not," I replied calmly. "If anything I'm trying not to flip out."

She nods and pulls me gently by my arm inside. The door shuts.

"She's in there."

"Thank you." I said beginning to walk down the path.

I quickly rush to the office door and knock a few times. I hear heels on the other side coming closer and closer. I step back and the door opens. I don't even bother to look up at Maliah or even greet her properly. I just slide past her and make my way to the black couch.

The door shuts. I listen to her heels until she walks back into my view and behind her desk.

"I'm taking a wild guess that you're in need of someone to talk too."

I nodded, staring up at her, "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Her shirt is long sleeved and satin black. Her hair is cascading down her face. She looks worried and a little stressed. She usually looks calm and collective.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She gave me a small smile, "I'm fine. Just ... my last patient got under my skin a little and that's not good considering that's not supposed to happen. I'm supposed to maintain a hard front and a non bothered attitude. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not cut out for helping anyone if it's easy to piss me off."

"I think you're great. Allie is really coming around and she looks forward to sessions with you. It's okay to break sometimes, I guess," I said. "We can't always be professional. You're a human with feelings, not a robot."

She sits down in her seat and adjusts herself. I guess the perfect looking woman isn't so perfect after all and for some reason that makes me feel better.

She sighed, "Jax tells me this all the time and ... I don't know. Work gets to me sometimes. Anyway let's talk about you. What's up?"

I begin to fidget with my hands. Now for some reason I'm nervous to talk. I'm afraid whatever comes out my mouth will be said wrong or I won't make any sense. I don't want to be judged or told that something is wrong on my part. I'm tired of it.

"I feel like I'm falling apart. Like I'm shutting down emotionally and I don't know how to stop it."

"What do you think is contributing to this?" She responded.

"I think I'm still stuck in shock. I feel like the trauma and the guilt is still there."

"The shock and trauma from Allie's accident?"

I nodded, "She was going to leave me and then that night I received the call something in me broke. And I don't know how to fix it."

"Why did she want to leave you?"