Breaking The Grey [Book #2]

Chapter 38

Allie

I weep quietly, feeling the welts on my skin. It all feels so real, like I'm not dreaming. Like I'm living this again, but it always feels that way. It always feels like I'm getting sucked back in time.

North is sitting next to me on this large tree trunk. Her sweater looks a little big on her and her jeans are ripped at the knees.

"It's okay, Allie. I'm here," North said. "They're not going to hurt you here."

She gently wraps her skinny arms around me. I return the favor, pushing my face into her neck. It's weird to think that my now fiancé and I got split up for a while and ended up back together again. I always think about how different it would've turned out if we didn't get split up.

"You're safe with me." She said.

I've been coping with what happened between Jay and I. Of course it still bothers me because its still recent, but I tend to not think about it as much anymore. Now I'm stuck thinking about my mother. North went to go see her without taking it up with me first. I'm not mad at her for doing that, but I wish she would've talked it over with me first.

What my mother said to North sounded like a big excuse and I think that's getting to me more than what Jay did because I already know my mother wasn't like him. She suffered almost the same amount of pain I did. I say almost because she wasn't kicked out to the streets to live on her own without any type of support.

To think that she was having another baby while everything was going on is puzzling to me. Why would you have sex and conceive again from an abuser? How does that even work? I know seeing my mom will be different than seeing Jay.

I'll have more negative emotions toward her due to the fact that she didn't really try. When North said she left several different ways to be contacted, I almost threw up. I could feel all the negativity clashing around in my stomach. now every time North's phone rings, my palms become sweaty and my heart leaps in my chest.

The funny part is is that this only happened yesterday. I feel like North's phone rings a million times a day. That's a million potential heart attacks waiting to happen. I know it's only a matter of time before my mother reaches out to us.

As of right now I finally remember where I've been. I remember the shelters I grew up in and the homes I've stayed in with friends. I remember Jim taking me in and I remember him getting me a job, but everything after that is still grey. I guess you can say I have everything now in terms of memories.

I hear the door close behind me. Maliah comes into my view. Her white lab coat is super white reflecting some sun rays off of it. Her hair hangs down her back and sways a little with every step she takes. She turns around and leans up against her desk. Her grey eyes stare into mine.

"You seem ... uneasy today." She said.

I responded dryly, "Because I am."

"Talk to me."

I scratch my head, trying to figure out where to start, "North gave my Mom several ways to contact us. Now I'm just waiting."

"Are you upset about this?"

"Not upset. Just a little annoyed because my mothers excuse for not helping me was she didn't want to get thrown out either and she was pregnant." I said.

"I can see why it's throwing you off. Do you want to see her?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I don't really want to be bothered about it anymore. I don't need my family and I clearly never have."