A Turkish Delight☆

Chapter 4: Back In Time

Mehmet:

17th October, 2015

Although I've seen around a million faces, have flirted shamelessly with at least hundreds of customers, used the same old rusty pick up lines for innumerable girls at the bar, I couldn't do that with Ms. Beautiful Eyes. Those mesmerising eyes can never be forgotten. I'm usually not the poetic kind, but her eyes were a reflection of her soul-pure and innocent, or at least that's what I perceived, but looks can be deceiving.

But right now my mind is fogged up with so many questions. I want to run after her, ask her name, call her in for some çay (tea). What is going on? Its as if I'm under a spell. And while I was cursing myself for not inviting her in, a strong voice calls my name:

"Oi boy! What are you doing standing outside and blocking the way for our customers! Come inside we need to sort out the new products!" The grumpy old owner scowled while I was still in my thoughts.

"Coming abi!" I said scanning the crowd hoping to see her or her mom. With no luck I went inside to help unpack the goods that had just arrived. As I went inside the small, now crowded shop, I had a panic attack. I felt anxious and suffocated. No it wasn't a hypersensitivity response, I had a severe form of claustrophobia. So I went out to get some air.

I had a weird, sinking feeling. Like never before. It didn't even compare to the time when I failed my senior year in university. Or the time when I found out my girlfriend was cheating on with my best bud.

Although I was devastated back then. At the time, I had a recent breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years. We were together since semester 1. It may have been a casual thing in the start, but I was really serious towards the end. I had plans of marrying her, I really liked her. She, however, did not.

It was on our 4th year anniversary when I found her red-handed, or as I'd like to say, half-naked, that too with my best friend of 13 years. Yeah it sounds like a clichèd story, the girl cheating with her boyfriend's bestie, but such is life. No wonder there are so many stories around the same plot.

And to think I was going to propose her the very same day with the 14-karat diamond ring I had bought along with a bouquet of freshly picked red roses and a box of her favourite hazelnut chocolates. I had been saving for this for the past 2 years. I later on ended up eating the chocolates by myself and giving the flowers to my superhero mom. Obviously I won't let it go to waste.

Being the only man in my family, I had to provide for my mom and my younger sister, and pay for my college tuition too. My parents divorced when my sister was only 2 months of age, due to 'irreconcilable differences' they couldn't even care for their 6 year old son and 2 month old daughter. Actually my father was the jerk, he would have affairs with other women, and although my mother knew everything, she couldn't leave him, partly because he was the only source of income. My mom worked at a diner before her marriage, where my father was a regular customer. And so began their love story, which turned into a terrifying nightmare. My father used to verbally as well as physically abuse my mother, and if I would ever stand up for her he would lock me in a small, dark, cold room, almost like a chamber, for hours on end. It was there where I developed my claustrophobia. Once my mom found a decent job, she registered for a divorce. My mom is the real definition of a superhero-she worked day in and day out to pay for the house rent, my school tuition fees and take care of the house. So I was obligated to take care of her as soon as I was old enough to work and earn.

This proposal meant everything to me. I bloody saved a specific amount every month from the pay I used to get from the shop I worked at, for 2 whole years! I bought nothing for myself because I was saving up for her! And the bitch just cheated on me! She was probably my first love, and we could have had it all, but she just had to ruin it. I was more angry at the fact that she was just another version of my father. And I was angrier at my best friend. Like how could you Bülent? How could you? I hated him and the cheating bitch with all my heart and soul, but I never seeked revenge, probably because it was immature and foolish.

But this affected me a lot. I never got closure. And this reflected badly on my grades. I flunked my mids, my finals. Repeated the year, barely passed with a 1.8 GPA. It was a horrendous year. After this I joined the army to complete my mandatory service. It was more of an escape than a civil service. Spending 2 years in the army helped me become a stronger person.

Although today, it wasn't as intense, actually not even close to, considering what I've been through with a cheating father and lying bitchy girlfriend, I have never had such a feeling before... just the thought of never seeing Ms. Beautiful Eyes again was more terrifying than everything else; the thought of which made me feel sick to my stomach. I don't know whether it was lust or love or black magic, but, for now, I was head over heels for her. I hoped it would pass, but it never really did.

Can someone go crazy by just one sight? Is love at first sight an actual phenomenon? I'm amazed by how the human mind works. May God help me!