A Turkish Delight☆

Chapter 34: Déjà vu

Song: Give Your Heart a Break-Demi Lovato

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Nadine:

It was too good to be true, the fireworks, last night, a complete day at the Ziyagil House. I knew there was some loophole. Call me a pessimist but I knew nothing runs so smoothly as it did for the past couple of hours. My bubble burst as soon as I heard that girl, Deniz, call out Mehmet's name. At first I thought she was a friend or a relative, probably even his sister! But when she placed a kiss on his lips I realized, she was more than just a friend to him.

Honestly I wouldn't have had a problem, since this happened around the time I was engaged to Saif, so practically we were on a break, but she seemed so confident which pissed me off. And I will admit that I am the jealous kind. But Mehmet accused me of sleeping with Saif when nothing happened between us except for an innocent, short lived kiss, and he got pretty worked up over it back then. I remember everything he said, its embedded in my brain, and that is basically what angered me.

But then, it clicked me, what if he had been sleeping with her all along? I mean I couldn't be sure of him. When I can't be sure of my best friend, whom I knew more, how can I be sure of him? What if he was just using me as another one of his toys? To achieve his sexual gratification? I was angry, and sad at the same time. I felt betrayed. The same feelings reappeared, the ones that I had when I found out Saif's betrayal. The situation seemed familiar, well not completely, but it did.

I wanted to ask him all the questions that were on my mind, I wanted to know what I was to him? Whether all that happened was real or just a set up to get into my pants? Whether he actually meant it when he said he loved me or was it another gimmick? But it seemed so real, but then again, so did Saif. I wanted to ask him every query that popped up on my mind but I feared I'd get too emotional and I didn't want to create a scene in the middle of the road, so I started walking towards the taxi stand. I felt Mehmet's hand grab my wrist. I swung my wrist to let him go off of it. But he caught hold of it again.

"Let me explain, please." He pleaded.

"Mehmet, let me go. I need to clear my brain."

"No, I know you'll escape again and probably never return, I don't want to lose you, again!"

"Hah! You really think I'd escape because of you?" I gave a sarcastic smile. "No." It disappeared. "Now please let me go. Its already too late and I have work tomorrow, early morning." I said as I proceeded towards the taxi that deccelerated as I signalled it to stop for me.

"Nadine, let me answer all your questions, I know you have a lot of them! Its not how it looks like!"

"Mehmet. Please. Not now." I said as I tried to leave.

"No!" He grabbed me by my arm, "I won't let you go till you let me explain what happened."

"You're creating a scene Mehmet. Please let me go." I said trying to sound as polite as I can. "Don't make it more difficult for me. I need some time and some space. I need to figure out what happened an--"

"How will you know what happened when you won't hear me out?" He had a point though. But I didn't want to listen to what he had to say, at least not right now. I needed to clear everything to come to a decision.

"Mehmet we need some time alone, to ourselves, to figure out everything, and I don't want us to feel suffocated. This 'thing' is going a bit too fast, and I don't want us to regret anything. We shou--"

I was interrupted by his kiss, he knew what I was going to say, and he probably wanted to stop me from saying any further. His kiss felt so good. But I remembered what had happened a few minutes ago, so I pushed him away. "Not today. This won't work on me today."

"Fine. I give up. Have it your way then. But let me tell you something, none of it was a lie or a scheme to get into bed with you! If it was for that I could've already done that with tens of thousands of girls. Better yet, I could've done it that day we drove off to Paradise. But I didn't and you know why? Because I do love you, and I love you with all my heart and soul."

My eyes welled up as I looked at him, I could see his eyes become red and teary. I wanted to rush towards him, and get into his arms. I wanted to forget about what happened, because technically it wasn't his fault, we weren't committed or anything, but I had to stop myself from the temptation. Mainly because I didn't want us to regret anything later on. And, although a little, but I doubted him, because if I can't be sure of Saif, how can I be sure of a guy whom I don't know properly. I had become quite pessimistic and cynical that my brain kept telling me that this was another one of his tactics. But my heart fought back and said otherwise. This Brain vs Heart battle was one of the reasons why I needed space, and time to myself, to realize whether I trusted him or not. He continued with a much calmer tone.

"I respect you and your decisions. Which is why I fought back my urge! I thought today would be a special day for the both of us, but it got ruined, and it is my fault but you should at least give me a chance to explain! I deserve a chance!"

I turned away, trying very hard not to let the tears flow out of my eyes. "I'm sorry Mehmet."

"Fine. Leave me. I was alone before, and I'll be alone my entire life. I won't bother you from now on."

I felt a weird pain in my chest. Like someone just stabbed my heart, or worse, broke it into a million tiny pieces. I looked back at him and tears rolled down my eyes, "I'm sorry." I said again, as I sat in the taxi and gave the driver directions to my apartment.