Evolution

September 27 2014

I went to the movies with Andy (mom and Riley too) yesterday. It was amazing. We saw The Maze Runner (duh.) I learned that Andy saves his movie tickets too. It was funny, because I was just kinda like, "Hey... You're not going to throw those away, right?" Then I told him I wanted one. Then he ripped the tickets in half and gave me one. We sat next to each other in the theater. It was pretty funny, we were having a poke war throughout the whole movie. Riley was being a nuisance pretty much the whole time. Before the movie he was punching me, and during the movie he kept trying to hold my hand, and after the movie he was punching me again while saying, "Ali loves Andy!" And every time I would comment, he would just be like, "You know you do!" Andy didn't even know what to do, so he was silent pretty much the whole time. And he said that mom was smiling and laughing too!

I'm a little bummed that he didn't try to hold my hand or anything. It's okay though. Heh. When we were dropping him off at his house, I really wanted to give him a hug, but I wasn't sure if I should. But mom told me to. Which was amazing. I was like, "I don't need to be told twice!" And jumped out of the car and tackled him in a hug. I think my eagerness may have scared him, because I remember we swayed and he had to steady us.

But man... That was one of the best hugs I've ever had. He was so warm. I was holding him tight, and he was holding me just as tight, maybe tighter. I liked the feeling of his arms around me, I liked the feeling of his body on mine. (Looking back on it, I'm kind of worried he might've felt the ribs in my back, but whatever. I'm at a healthy weight, just bony.) I think he smelled really good. Like really good. I can't figure out what it is! I'm thinking maybe it's his deodorant, but I don't know! He just smells so frigg'n good. And the best part of it is that he didn't let go until I did. And, since I'm such a hugger, the hug could've lasted around 2 minutes.

Riley kept opening the car door and being rude and commenting things like, "Are you guys secretly kissing?!" You know, just being the common ten year old brother. But it didn't really bother me. It gave us something to talk about throughout the hug. Every time he'd say something to me, I loved it. I absolutely love his voice. (Don't ask me why, I just do.)

But it was so wonderful, his body against mine- and his arms were so strong- I loved it when he would talk because I could feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest, and he was speaking (practically, almost) in my ear. (I mean, his face was pretty much next to mine.) So, it was magic. I wonder if he felt the same about talking, because I know both of our voices changed- they got the way people do when they hug- and he was DANG SEXY. HA! But I do wonder if he felt the same.

I was floating the whole way home. I think when people say they "fell for someone," I don't think they fell. I think every time they're around that person, they float, higher and higher. I think when someone says, "I fell for you," I don't think they fell- I think it's them realizing it's that person who brings them up. I think it's realizing they have feelings for that person. And, with that logic, I would be falling for him. If I believed that was possible. I know I like him- and he knows it too, a lot has gone on. But because of what I've been told my whole life, I basically don't believe in love. I mean, I know other people have found it, but I don't think I ever will. I told him this, and he immediately told me that I'm wrong. And he said he knows that love is real.

But yeah. The movies were awesome. My favorite part was the hug though. That hug was literally a really long hug, and it was funny because when I got in the car mom was like, "That was a long hug." And all I said was, "he smelled good.." AND SHE SAID NOTHING. She told dad when I was downstairs, and he looked at me and said, "Ah, creepy! You've still got the afterglow!" Whatever that means.

But ugh. That's all I've been able to think about. Him. Hugging him. And SERIOUSLY, if I didn't have any morals, I would FULL-ON CUDDLE HIM. I would. And I told him that. And he said he likes to cuddle. And long, warm hugs. I'm starting to think he just might be perfect. <3