I'm sorry that I'm sitting here all alone. The words aren't coming and I'm just trusting that my thumbs will communicate the right thing. Coherent thought is difficult at the moment. I miss Andy so much and I sent myself into this place of misery when I looked at the pictures. I look at them all of the time when I am sad but they never really help. It is silent in my head but there is so much going on around me. I'm stuck here and stressing because it's time for college apps and I am so unprepared as a first generation college student. I'm so alone and no body around me understands how I'm feeling. I try to pretend to be happy and sometimes I do trick my family but at the end of the day I'm always sitting alone worrying about where the future will take me and worrying about whether or not I will be happy someday. I still dream about the someday that we had talked about but now I am ashamed to be myself. I am ashamed of the girl that can't be happy without Andy, the young man I convinced myself was my future. I didn't want to be wrong but lately my family is fighting harder than he is fighting to be with me. I'm tired. I don't want to give up on him but I want to give up. There are mornings that I wish I never woke up. And what's even harder is to pretend to be happy when you're missing one of the most important people in your life. I'm alone. It's Emily's birthday today and I should be happy for her but I'm just sitting here sad that she left. I'm just sitting here sad that I am so alone in this world because I am forbidden from being with the person that I adore.
YOU ARE READING
Evolution
Non-FictionThere are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have...
