Evolution

2 March 2018

It's been a year.

I'm amazed at how far I've come.
I feel that I have truly progressed- and my life has changed for the better.

It started with the therapy.

And it ended with him.

I got accepted to university. I had finally accepted that I was, as a matter of fact, trying to get out. I didn't want the ghost of his memory to haunt me in my home any longer. I had planned out that I was going to leave, and start a new life for myself.

I never realized how miserable I was with him around. And even though I promised myself that I would never fall in love again, I did.

January rolled around, and one day I got a text from an unknown number asking for one of my friend's contact information.

His phone number was deleted from my contacts, but it wasn't me that did it.

I texted back, "Who is this??"

He responded, "It's David, the red head. From science"

He was the boy that had always been a friend to me when no one else would. He was a true gentleman. We helped each other with homework, and in the mornings when I was alone he would always sit next to me. He would always offer me a hand, and lift me up. He always worked on every class project with me.

When I read the text, my heart had almost split in two.

We continued talking and he eventually asked me about winter formal, and if I was going.
My friend and I had originally intended to go together, but she found a date and let me know that I might want to find one too.
I hadn't talked to him for more than a year, and somehow, he remembered me.

He was the first man to take me out to dinner. He bought me a corsage without me begging.

I had finally realized for the first time that it felt good to be treated better. I realized that night that I wanted to be with him for a long time.

We have been together since then, and we are inseparable.

In the beginning of our relationship I struggled with opening up to him. There were times that I would grow so scared that I loved him so much that I asked him to just hold me and promise me that he wasn't going to leave me.

I stopped seeing my therapist after we were dating for two months. I felt that I was wasting time and I didn't want to talk about what made me sad anymore when I could be happy with him.

His family loves me. They allow me to come over whenever I like, and David's dad told him that I am the kind of woman he would like to see him marry.

I have not had a single unhappy day. I am clean- so clean that I have lost count and forgotten the days I was unhappy.

David continues to treat me right.

He made me strong. He tells me I am smart, and beautiful. He respects me.

Even though I promised myself I wouldn't, I have fallen so deeply in love with him.

It's the kind where you know that you would do anything for them, and you know you would live for them if they asked you to. It is the kind of love that you want to treat them and take care of them; it's the kind of love where all you want for them is to be happy.

And I'm so grateful that he loves me the same way.

I'm finally done feeling the pain of the past- after months, I finally have someone who has affirmed to me that I have a bright future. I know that no matter how far away I will be, I will never be alone.

Love isn't giving up. It's not giving up everything you have, and it's not having the willingness to do anything for someone. Love is equal. Love is give and take. Love is happiness. Love is peace. Love is kind.

I know that I am loved. If a man as wonderful as him is willing to accept every single one of my flaws, and love me for who I am, I must be worth something.

I know that everything I have experienced has made me strong.
I've drawn the curtains to my soul, and I'm letting the light in. I no longer have anything to hide.

After years of worry and self doubt, I am finally across the bridge that led me away from that time of my life. I dropped a lit match as I stepped off of it, and I know that path behind me has gone up in flames. But this time, I'll never look back.