I saw him. Two days ago, school registration. I thought I'd be lucky enough to go through the whole thing without running into him. I had just gotten my text books, it was the end of it. As I walked out the doors, I looked up and there he was. I had been laughing with the librarian about something, and when I looked up and saw him standing there my heart stopped. In reality, we were both walking, but it felt like and eternity with shared between us. When our eyes met, we both gave each other tight lipped smiles. It was the look of strangers. It felt like my heart was going to break into 1 million pieces all over again. It hurt so much. I never wanted him to be a stranger. I feel so angry now, because I know in my heart I've forgiven him. I still love him. Why, I will never know. And I hate that part of me still wants him. I've got a stockpile of sharp things in case of an emergency. Razor blade, pencil sharpener, bobby pins. I'll either break the world around me, or begin to self-destruct. I'd rather the second. I don't deserve to put that kind of thing into the world. I just want to take a baseball bat and break something. I know I can't. But I'm so angry at myself. Why can't I just get over him? I just want to be able to go a day without him on my mind. I'm so scared he'll try to come back. That cruel, stupid part of me still wants him back. But now I know I'm smarter than that. If he came back, I would let him. But things would never be the same. Since logic has finally taken control of me again, I am meaner than I was before. If you came back, I would be insulting him all the time. I'm not the delicate, naïve girl I used to be. I'm tough now. If he ever comes back, I making where I stand clear. He's never touching me again. We're not dating. He's never holding my hand again. Me and him will never be us again. And I will never let him in again. I hope he will love someone so differently from me he'll know what he threw away. Of course, he'll never come back. So I have nothing to worry about. He's never coming back. He's just as hardheaded as I am. And I'm never giving in to him again. Never again.
Forever and almost always by Kate Vogell
Dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer
YOU ARE READING
Evolution
Non-FictionThere are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have...
