Evolution

October 18 2014

Wow, it seems like I can't ever catch up to present day anymore, there's just so much I need to write about. I'm just going to write about today and try and fill in any missed information- and trust me, there's a lot.

Well, here goes:
Today was homecoming. It was the PSAT too, but that sucked so I don't want to write about it. The dance was a blast.

I think I may or may not have forgotten to mention that I dragged Andy there. That's probably why I had so much fun. I don't know. But it was great. Andy waited for me at the school when I first got there. Of course they do that whole boys and girls separation thing, so I waited in the line with Diamond and Victoria. Diamond said Andy's legit. I asked her, she said he's great. They dated in middle school- she said that, "he's the type of guy if he breaks your heart, he does it painlessly." They're still great friends, even though all of that happened. That, being them dating.

I danced for some of the time, well, most of it. I kind of sucked, like really bad. I can't dance. But, ironically, my favorite part of the dance was dancing. Or, more accurately, after a dance... A slow dance. Everyone was partying and having a good time, and the DJ said he had a lot of requests for a song, and that it was, "a couples' dance." Then "All of me" by John Legend began to play. Annie took my hands and we kind of danced for like three seconds... And then I broke. "Can I please dance with him?" I practically whisper pleaded. She then looked over at him and pushed me to him, with a smile on her face.

At first I didn't know what to do, so I was really awkward, but he patted his shoulder for me to put my hand on, so I did. Ha, that the only lasted like two seconds. I just kept inching closer and closer until it was a swaying hug, and our bodies were touching. It was amazing. When I didn't think it could get any better, he began to sing in my ear. (Did I mention, the song was ALL OF ME by John Legend?) It was at the beginning of the song and first chorus he sang to me. Then I sang to him second verse and chorus, and I was going to sing more, but I was too out of breath.

Sometimes there would be a part where neither of us would be singing and I'd turn my face so that my cheek would rub against his, or my eyelash give butterfly kisses along his nose, chin, and jawline. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it was one of those times when he turned my face up to his and kissed me. It didn't even feel real. It was at the end of the song, and he kissed me. It was perfect. He just held me close, hands on my hips, and held his lips against mine. It wasn't like I didn't give him permission, technically like a week ago (ish) I told him I wanted to be the first one to kiss me.

The kiss was so perfect. He just held me, and kissed me. It was kind of a soft kiss, but at the same time firm, I guess? His lips were so warm. I loved the feeling of his mouth against mine. It was something else. The great thing was that he didn't really try anything though. It was a pretty clean kiss. There was no tongue, he kissed me completely and fully, and strongly.

Just like with his hugs, he didn't let go until it was obvious we needed air. That's probably the reason why I don't remember a crazy amount. 1) it's most likely I forgot to breathe, and 2) my eyes were closed. I remember the feeling of the kiss, but visually I only remember images and flashes.

After we separated, I'm not sure, but I think I was the one to go for the second kiss. Actually, I'm positive I did. This all happened towards the end of the song, but it felt like time stopped for me. It was like the whole world around me just ceased to exist, and all that mattered was his soft, warm lips enveloping mine.

When he kissed me, Annie squealed, squeaked, and basically freaked. I didn't really notice the noise she made till after, because she disappeared. But everyone around us clapped and cheered after the kiss. It was kind of flattering and embarrassing at the same time.

After the song ended, the DJ played the Spanish version of Bailando by Enrique Iglesias. It isn't a slow dance song, but Andy and I danced to it close to each other anyways. It was fun, I was singing the Spanish lyrics of the song to him while we danced. I was still pretty out of it because he kissed me, and all I could look at were his eyes. We maintained eye contact for a long time. My last favorite dance was the last slow dance. It was A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. We sang to each other in that one too.

After the kiss, Annie wanted to talk over ice cream. She basically wanted to make sure that was my first kiss. Basically. We all had gotten ice cream, but I had difficulty eating it all, because there were too many butterflies. Annie said she wouldn't tell and that she approves. I'm so glad she approves of him. I'm worried my parents don't or won't.

I can't get over the fact that he kissed me. It felt like a dream. It hasn't really hit me yet. It feels too good to be true, basically. It was too perfect to have actually happened.

I had my first kiss.

Andy gave me my first kiss.

Today. It happened.

But all I can think about now is how soft and warm and sweet his lips were.

Also, when we had to leave, I told him for the first time in person that I love him. It was also in a hug.

But yeah... Today was magical.