Evolution

July 10 2015

I feel that love is dead;
you taught me that it was real,
but also that it was never meant to last.

I wrote "I love you"
On the cement for the whole world to see;
People noticed,
But the words were too soon forgotten
And were left alone
Crushed and slowly erased
By the feet I wished to carry them

You gave me a ring
On the day of love
But it was childish to hope
That it would last;
I can't think of the day
Without feeling hate
Because you can't have love without pain,
Or a rainbow without rain

I have grown to hate love,
Because I don't know if the trade off is worth it.

Why is everything about love?
Is it really so great?
The fact that it's so exaggerated
Fills me with hate;

The pain of a broken heart
Is splitting me in two-
The side that wants me,
And the side that wants you.

Life is so fragile,
And we are all so frail,
When we get a taste of happiness,
We say we've found the holy grail

Why can't it stop?
I don't want to be numb anymore
I want you to come save me
And pick me off the floor,
But every time I call for help
It seems to me like you've shut that door.

There were so many warnings;
But I never wanted to see them
So I passed them by
Never thinking twice
Never thinking
That maybe I'd get hurt

I was a caterpillar in a field of butterflies,
Still so new
And young-
And you sent me into my own cocoon
Of misery and pain
And for the longest time I doubted I'd be able to survive the rain,
Because you were my branch,
And when you were gone,
I hit the ground hard
And I thought I would drown.
I'm still there,
And I don't think you'll ever come back to pick me up..

I tried to fly but it hurt too much-
The rain weighed me down
And I couldn't take more than I could handle;

The waves of emptiness were washing me away,
But I found the strength to stand.
I walked along the shoreline,
Walking along the endless sand,
My shadow the only one who would stay with me
I searched for a sign that the pain was worth it
But all I found
Was a small sand dollar
With a heart shaped crater
That felt like the gaping hole in my chest;
I kept it;
Even though it shattered when I picked it up,
Because I knew it was my broken wish
That someone was trying to tell me was long gone.

It's in my drawer
That holds the record of our love
Because it reminds me of you
And the pain I'm going through

I asked for a sign today;
And my momma called for my daddy,
Because the dove that happily lived
Above the kitchen window
Laid on the ground below.

"What happened?" I asked my daddy,
As I looked at the mother bird-
She could have been sleeping
With perfect stillness;
But she never got back up.
How could a dove fall
If it could fly?

He said she died of a broken heart.

I found an eggshell
In the potted plant above her,
And we all knew
The father left days before;

With such a tragic event that came to the dove,
At that moment I knew
that the same goes for me and love.

The dove is dead,
And I put her feather in our drawer
Because it reminds me of you,
And I fear our love is dead.

I put a ring in the drawer
But I fear I will never be able to give it to you
Because after all,
Love is temporary.

In the fairy tales they get their happily ever after,
But this is no fairy tail.

Divorce rates are higher than ever,
And love never was meant to last.

Our love was never meant to last.

That's why I get so filled with hate,
Because people say that love is so great
But there's so much pain,
And we all end up just the same.

In the end,
We're all six feet under
our stories fade,
as the time passes
No one will know our names.

I'm not the princess I thought I was
My entire life,

Or maybe I am,
Because the curse I have
Hasn't been lifted.

Everything I love
Always leaves me.

True love's first kiss didn't do it,
And I thought you'd be my modern day
Knight in shining cotton to come and save me

But I've been stranded on my tower with my demons
And I need to be saved from myself
And I used to think that you could do it
But I guess not
Because I'm still laying here
Staring at the closed window that I hope you'll call out from the other side
Hoping I'll hear you say my name once more
Or tell me that you still love me
And that our love hasn't died

But this ring I got for you
Is still sitting here
And I guess it was childish to hope and wish
That you'd come back to me
After I let you go

I still clutch my own ring to my chest
Every day
Hoping that despite it being tarnished
It would last
Despite the odds.
I guess it was a childish hope,
Because love is temporary

I feel that love is dead,
Because you're gone
And you taught me to love-
I didn't believe in love before you..
Now I know it's real,
But I also know that it doesn't last.

Because you're gone.

I gave you the biggest thing that can't be returned,
And you still left.
The gaping hole in my chest feels like
The sand dollar in our drawer
I found being beaten up by the waves along the shore
With a heart stolen from it,
And I feel dead inside,
As much as the dove that
Laid below our kitchen window today

I wanted to give you that ring
But I haven't talked to you in over a month.
I can't stand it
Because I try to forget
But I can't.

I still long to be in your arms every night
I have trouble sleeping.
I lay in bed in tears
And I fear you've forgotten about me.
I fear you no longer love me
Because what I gave you was non-refundable,
And I fear that it is dead.
I fear our love is dead.
I fear our love is dead.
I fear your love is dead.
I fear I will not have you again
Because then I will be dead.
I fear our love is dead.