Evolution

June 13 2015

Yesterday was Friday. As a matter of fact, it was the last Friday of the school year. We had our last block day. It was the 1-3-5 block. It feels so crazy to me that the school year is already over. I'm kind of sad- I won't be able to vent to Red anymore. This was the last time. And I talked for about the whole two hours. I admitted to her for the first time that I'm broken, and I talked so much I came to accept what I can't change. I told her everything- from how I was feeling to what I wanted to say to Andy. By the time I was finally done, I was mentally tired. When PE was over, we walked out the doors and he was waiting. I just walked straight to him and hugged him. The best part of it was that he hugged back and didn't let go. For the majority of the time we hug-walked back to the front of the school. There was some conversation, but all I cared about was the hugs. He threw me over his shoulder and carried me at some point too. I just liked being able to touch him, feel his heart beat, and body close to mine. Part of what I told Red was that I have this feeling in the bottom of my soul and within my entire being that we were made for each other. That I know he was made for me. And it felt so good to have his body in my arms again.
When we approached the front gates of the school, I put my head next to him, and I told him, "I'm asking you out. Right now, say yes." And he did. I told him I knew it wasn't cheesy like I'd wanted, but I didn't want to wait any longer. He asked if we should continue to seven months, and I wish we could, but I told him I don't think it works that way. But 6/12/15, we're back on.
I still want to go to the fair with him so bad. Lynn had talked about it, but my parents said it wasn't okay. But if Lynn really wanted it to happen she could probably convince my parents. Or maybe I could just do it separately. Once with Lynn and once with Andy. That would work very nicely. But I for sure want to go on a date at the fair with Andy. That would be amazing. By the time we got to the lot at Von's (now changed to Hagens) my mom was already waiting in the turn lane when we were walking down the lot. I said, "dang it, I was hoping I would have some time to kiss you." He looked up for a second, then flipped me around and kissed me. He kissed me hard, and pulled my body to his, and held me tight in the middle of the parking lot. Then my mom pulled around and we had to keep walking.
I told him that my window is unlocked, but it rained overnight and he never came. On one hand I am bummed he didn't come, and in another I am glad. I know this summer will be hard, but I know we can do it. As long as I know I have him, I can do anything. I love him more than words can say.