Dreams

I Need Help (I'm At a Down Point In Life)

I literally feel like I'm falling into a small pit of insanity.

 

To the point where I will watch a vlog and it feels more realistic than going outside.

 

And I can't help this.

 

For example, all day today I felt boring and grey and numb and I didn't want to smile or talk or do or say anything, but I began walking home and turned on a podcast from YouTubers and I instantly began smiling. In front of everyone. And yet I felt all alone. Just me. And that podcast.

It's as if I have split personalities, the one online and the one in real life. And I hate the real life one. I just want to be here. With people on this site. And Tumblr. And YouTube.

I really need to sort myself out.

So I think... I think I'm going to temporarily put my account on hiatus.

It's a bit hard to put into words, and I'm sorry if I can't explain this properly, but I feel like I'm being eaten up. It hurts.

I'll still post the one-shots, as I made a commitment to that, and I'll still make stauts updates and reply to inboxes and everything, and I will still take requests for one-shots, but as for everything else, I don't know.

I'll still write, but I'm not sure about all the posting.

I just... I just need to sort myself out.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.