Love is Love 2 (COMPLETED)

Chapter 36

Diego's POV

Since Naomi suggested I go see a shrink, I decided to see one. If she thinks it'll help, I'll go. Im sitting in the lobby when they call me back. I've never been to one of these things before and it's scary.

As I walk into this office I see a woman stand up from her seat, she extends her hand. "Hello, I'm Dr. Jenson." She's an older white woman, with brown hair and brown eyes.

I shake her hand "Diego."

She gestures for me to sit on the chair opposite her. I sit and look around, there's books everywhere and pictures of paintings.

"I understand that this is your first time here so I'll start off with something simple. How was your childhood?" She has a notepad and pen in her hand.

I feel myself tense up "I'd rather not talk about that."

"Why not, did something happen to you?"

"A lot of things happened to me, some good, some bad. It's a part of life." I fold my arm across my chest.

"Diego, I can't help you if you don't open up." She puts the pen down and glances at me.

I hesitate for couple of minutes. Maybe I do need to get all this shit off my chest and when I do I'll feel better. I run my hand down my face and look at her.

"I'm listening." She gives me a sympathetic smile.

"Well, my childhood was shit, i was living in my own personal hell. Things happened, my mom got beat, my sister and I got beat and my brother was a drug addict. My brother Danny was my hero though, he really was." I looked up to him, and I loved him dearly.  "When I was thirteen, he was sixteen, we made a promise we'd leave together, with Amaya and mama. I don't know where we was gonna go but I just knew we had to get out. So when that day finally came I waited for him, hours went by and he never showed. That's when I realized he left without us. That really fucking killed me inside and made me hate him." He was a little bitch and still is.  "Till this day I hate him because I'm envious of him. I'm envious of his life. He has two beautiful kids and a beautiful wife, he has money, he's doing well for himself and I hate that. I make good money but I don't make it honestly."

I sit up straight in the chair "Anyway when Danny left things got worse because my sperm donor couldn't get his drug supply for Danny anymore. Everyday the man I thought my was my father came home drunk and beat us up. Now he was angrier when he was drunk, rather than when he was high. He was disrespectful when he was sober but he was a monster when he drank, he wrecked havoc. It felt like his fist hurt more when he was drunk."

I can't read her expression so I just go on.

"These beatings and shit extended into high school and it sucked. I had bruises all over my face and arms and other places. People would just stare but I didn't care until teachers started to ask questions. That was the worst part of it all, being questioned about why do you have a black eye every week, or why do you have black marks on your arms and shit like that." I uncross my arms. "That's when they sent social workers to the house and my mama finally told the truth. He went to prison for two years."

I remember vaguely on that day his expression. He looked angry but pleased, I don't know how to describe it.

"Those two years he was gone was the best of my life. Although I sold drugs I was fine with that as long as my family was good. The only education I got was a high school diploma but I was fine with that too, I am fine with that." I close my eyes for a second "He came back when I was eighteen, my mama let him back in the house. For a that week he was everything I ever wanted in a father, I thought he was showing me what it felt like to be loved," I chuckle "I was so damn naive."

Now looking back on it I never should've let my mama talk us into letting that piece of shit back into our house.

"After that week was up everything started happening again. One day in particular I came home with my friend Will, everything was fine until he left. What I can say nicely about Hector, my sperm donor is that he was smart enough not to hit us when company was around." He played that father role in front of people so damn well, he deserved an Oscar. "That day my mama, Angela was in the kitchen making dinner, he came in there, tried to kiss her, she pushed him away and he punched the shit out of her. I thought her jaw broke."

I could've swore I heard a shatter or something.

"Now you have to understand my mama is a small woman and when he punched her she fell to the ground, hard. Amaya was screaming bloody fucking murder while i was just sitting there watching him rape her. That shit was traumatic." I sigh before going on "This went on for months and one day I got fed up. I got fed up with my mama not fighting back and Amaya crying and screaming every damn day. So I took it upon myself to do something about it, ya know because I wasn't this scrawny thirteen year old boy anymore."

Dr.Jenson looks like she's about to cry.

"When Hector was doing his everyday ritual this one Saturday, I jumped on his back to try and get him off of my mama but he threw me back. Then I remember I picked up this big ass pan and started wailing on him. Few seconds went by and he went slump. I called the cops and he went to prison." I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. "The first time I seen him again was a month or so ago."

"And how was that experience?" She finally talks.

I sit back in the chair "It was, um nerve racking. I never get nervous about a lot of stuff but I was nervous seeing him." This shit is starting to get to me. "I asked him why he did what he did and he said because he could. And he was right."

"How so?" Her pen and pad are still laying on the desk.

"Well my mama never fought back and I don't mean physically because like I said she's a small woman. What I mean is mentally and emotionally. He broke her down through the years and all she could do was take his shit. Everything started to happen when I was six I believe so that's like ten plus years of emotional damage." I break eye contact with her and look down at my hands "For so long I resented my mama because she was so weak, she didn't protect us like I thought she would. I think I moved out because I somewhat still kinda resent her."

I feel the tears start to build up "No woman in her right mind would let someone beat on their children for so long and not do something about it."

"Diego she wasn't in her right mind." She speaks softly.

I get up from the chair quickly "I'm through." As I walk out the room I hear Dr. Jenson say come back.

I can't. It's too much to cope with.

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