Love is Love 2 (COMPLETED)

Chapter 44

I would like to say that I'm a tough man, but I'm not. To be completely honest, I'm the weakest man alive right now.

I couldn't look at my daughter as I gave her a name and I couldn't even show up to my "wife's" funeral. For the past two weeks I've been doing nothing but laying in bed, not sleeping or eating, just reminiscing.

I hear Nani (Nah-nee) cry but I don't even do anything, people come in and out the apartment taking her and I don't know who and I don't care.

All I care about is Noemi and I can't even have her. It hurts, so fucking much to know that the woman that you love was murdered and you can't do anything about it. I tried to kill Brian but the cops got him before I did.

It feels like my heart is gone and I never knew I could feel this empty inside. I'm a hollow shell.

I want to give up and end it all. That's why I'm sitting on the couch with a 9mm in my hand, trying to find the courage to do it.

"Do you not hear her crying?" Danny walks into the apartment with a bottle of milk in his hand. He's been staying down at Wills, I guess he's one of the people coming and going. He sees the gun in my hand. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I stand up. "I can't do this anymore Danny."

"What do you mean?" His voice is calm.

"I miss her so damn much Danny, you have no idea. I just want to be with her again." I cock the gun back and I hear it click, Danny drops the bottle. "You know sometimes i see her, but I know it's not real." I quickly wipe the tears away.

He steps towards me. "I'm not gonna pretend to know what you're going through but you have to think about what you're doing Diego."

Nani starts to cry louder.

"I've thought about it. I've been thinking about it ever since I saw her body on that fucking table!" I shout. "That hijo de puta took her away from me because he was jealous." I pace back and forth. "I should've killed him when I had the chance but I didn't and now it's my fault she's dead."

"No it's not, you can't blame yourself." His focus is between the gun and me.

"I just wanna be with her again, that's all I'm asking for." I feel the cold barrel against my skull and I close my eyes.

"Diego please don't do this. That little girl can't lose her mother and father, Naomi wouldn't want that." I can't see him but I can hear his heavy breathing and his panicky voice.

"She won't even remember me." My jaw tightens as my finger makes its way to the tigger.

"But she will."

"I love you Danny and I know you'll take great care of her." I pull the trigger, hear Danny yell and wait for the darkness to take over.

It never happens.

The gun jammed.

I open my eyes and in a split second Danny tackles me to the ground. I hit my head on the floor, he gets on top of me and tosses the gun. He starts to wail on me and I don't even fight back.

"Are you fucking crazy!" He yells as he pounds my face with both of his fist.

"I'm just broken." Tears come down the side of my face.

He stops his assault and sighs. "Diego you're my baby brother and I love you, do you hear me?" I nod my head. "You have to be strong for your baby girl okay? Naomi would want you to be strong for her, okay?"

"I don't know how to be anymore Danny. I'm suffocating and I can't even save myself." I close my eyes and Noemi flashes in my head. That night I took her to that hotel and we snuck in the pool, deep down I already knew I was in love with her.

He gets off of me and brings his forehead to mine. "That baby's gonna save you."

I remember that time I took her to mamas house, I could tell she was nervous, hell I was nervous too, I never brought a girl to my mothers house before. However everyone liked her, especially Maria.

Then when we took that shower together, that's when she let my see all of her. That's forever embedded into my mind.

"Do you hear me?" Danny makes me look at him.

"Yeah."

Now I know why Danny was always my hero, he helped me through the tough times. He made sure I was straight, level headed at all times. An as much as I said we're not brothers, we are and we always will be.

I guess this is what Noemi meant when she said I need to "get right with Danny."

Danny helps me up from twelve floor. "Now lets go see your daughter."

We walk into the bedroom and Nani's crib is right beside the bed. This is my first time looking inside of it.

I look inside and she's laying there with wet stained doe brown eyes, she has patches of hair and she's kinda tan. Her mouth is wide and she has pinkish lips. She really is beautiful.

"She's beautiful." I say, letting her hold onto my finger.

"You and Naomi created this beautiful baby girl. You have to do right by her." He says over my shoulder.

"I will. I'll do it for my girls." She smiles at me.

I wish Noemi was here to see what a beautiful baby we made however I know she's looking down on us.