My Past Summer Fling; Is Now My Screwed Up Reality

My Past Summer Fling; Is Now My Screwed Up Reality ~Epilogue~

Nine Months Later...

Staring out at the white caps of waves rippling into the crystal blue ocean did a lot to calm my nerves about telling Quinn my story. The real, full story of what happened in the past year. I had decided it had been long enough and Austin was never going to return to Connecticut and see any of his students again, so telling her couldn't hurt anything. Besides, it felt better to get it off of my chest while in the place where it all began, too many memories were swimming around in my brain to ignore. Of course with those memories feelings are coupled with them, it would start to eat at me so it was best that I told someone.

Quinn was the only girl here with me so no doubt she was the one I confided in. Mainly because I don't think Garey or Riley would understand, who really wants to hear all about their girlfriend's first love? And there was absolutely no way in hell I was going to tell him about Austin being my first. As far as Riley knew, he was the first and only guy I ever made love to. Yes, that means we did the deed, we got it on...Quite a few times actually. I blushed like mad everytime I thought about it because it was still new to be intimate with someone I had been friends with for so long.

Riley was extremely attentive every time we'd done it, he took his time with me and it made me feel incredibly special. It was always emotional when we had sex, so passionate and sweet, and he never failed to tell me he loved me; before, during and after. But the first time we did it was the best because he never once took his eyes off of me, he told me how beautiful I was, he kissed me like I was the only one in the world that mattered and his hands explored every inch of me. I still shuddered thinking about it. Our first time together was back in May on Graduation night, we went out for a romantic dinner and a moonlit walk in the park, and I had not once thought about Austin that entire month. I knew then it was time and the rest was history after we went back to Riley's house.

I bet you all are thinking I'm some inconsiderate, selfish bitch for letting Riley think he was my first, but think about it, what would you do? Risk ruining your relationship for something that happened in the past? Or leave it the past where it belongs and keep moving forward? Well, I had been living in the past my entire life and I refused to let it keep screwing up the good things in my life, I'm sorry but I did what I needed to do for me. I don't regret a bit of it because I was the happiest I had been since before my Dad passed and I had no one to thank but Riley. No way I was losing him, this all wouldn't be possible without him.

"Wow," Quinn's breathy response brought me back to earth, "Krys, you've been through some serious shit. I would never have put that all together on my own, I mean Mr. Kelly being Vascoe, or Vascoe being Mr. Kelly- it's all mind boggling!"

I stared down at my toes hidden in the golden sand, folding my arms on top of my knees.

"Yeah, what's even more mind boggling is how I fell in love with him, how I let myself go with him and gave him all of me. Only to end up without him-" I shook my head ruefully, "I shouldn't even be thinking about this or him, it feels wrong, it is wrong."

Quinn scooted closer to me in the sand and rubbed my arm, "No it's not it's completely normal, it would be wrong if you didn't think about. That would mean it was a mistake and you wanted to forget about it. You can never ever forget your first love, or your first time and that's perfectly okay."

I chewed my lip and winced, "Do you think I should tell Riley, you know, that he wasn't my first? I didn't feel guilty about it before but I'm starting to now."