RotBTFD Random drabbles

I just want you to stay

Merida sat on the window seat, her feet curled up to her chest, watching as the raindrops hit and slid off the glass panes. Her fingers were curled around her phone, finger tapping out an irregular beat as she lost herself in her thoughts. It had been bugging her, this feeling that had been blooming inside her chest- feelings that she had thought she'd sealed away and forgotten. She glanced at her phone screen, at the chat that was currently open.

She had promised herself that she was fine, that she would move on. Wasn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Weren't feelings supposed to fade? Feelings- she didn't even know what the heck it was that she was feeling right now.

It wasn't just liking him, it was more, much more complex than that... But it couldn't be love, because love wasn't supposed to hurt this much, right?

Love.

She wouldn't call it love. Not when she spent sleepless nights thinking about the way he had changed over the years, physically and mentally. Not when she broke down in sobs every time she thought about their whole situation for too long too many times in the shower, when she was alone.

So why were her lips just itching to say the words? Why did her body ache to be held, to be inside his arms, to feel his warmth and hear his heartbeat, to know that he- that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way too? Why were her ears so attuned to the sound of his voice, his laugh? Why did her eyes follow his every move-

"I love you." "I love you." "I love you."

She was so certain, so determined that this was over. Where had all her determination to never speak to him or of him, to never even think of him- gone? She had convinced herself before, once, twice, too many times to count, that he did not love her back, that this was hopeless, that nothing would or could ever happen, that this was not love, that with time I will forget him.

She had been so close-

(no, she hadn't.)

~

"Merida!"

The sound of her name being called by that all-too familiar voice- she froze mid-step, turning around slowly. He was taller, and his hairstyle was different, but the way he smiled at her was still the same, that same eye-smile and wide grin.

Once upon a time, back when they still stayed up to ungodly hours enjoying each other's company, messaging each other talking about everything and anything, back when she would have given anything to see him in person again-

That meeting was six years overdue. And she had no idea what to say- how to say it? How- she couldn't even remember the last time she actually said his name, yet nothing had ever come off her tongue as naturally.

"Jack," she forced out, taking a deep breath to try and calm down. "Hey."

It was just as awkward as she had expected and feared, and the exchange only lasted five minutes. But, like they all say, all it takes is one second to change something.

Five minutes were more than enough for five years of buried feelings to erupt again and utterly destroy three years worth of effort to suppress them.

~

'hey'

'happy birthday'

If she had almost dropped her phone because she was busy doing her best impression of a pterodactyl, no one had to know. (she was so screwed.)

'thanks'

~

Within weeks, she noticed how she was starting to slip back into old habits- glancing at her phone every five minutes, hoping every notification would be a message from him.

"I shouldn't have done this." Merida sighed, closing her eyes.

"Why not?" Rapunzel asked. "He makes you happy, doesn't he?"

She opened her eyes, glancing at her phone. "Yes." she mumbled. "He really does." She slipped her phone into her pocket, flopping down onto Rapunzel's bed. "But... he also makes me sad." she admitted quietly. Rapunzel moved to sit down on the best next to her, passing a cushion to her.

"He's like a drug, honestly," She mumbled as Rapunzel idly ran her fingers through her tangled mane, trying to tame it. "It's like, I get this high from talking with him, but... then he leaves, and I end up falling faster than a sack of bricks."

"Not the best comparison, but I get what you mean." Rapunzel hummed.

Merida sighed, rolling over to look at her friend. "I'm scared." she whispered. (what if he leaves again? it took me three years to be able to see his username without feeling like crying how am I going to get through another heartbreak-)

Rapunzel pulled her into a hug. "We all are." she said. "Just...do what you think is right."

(lol best advice said no one ever)

~

She stared at her phone. Just do what you think is right, she said. What was the right thing to do anyway? Her fingers hovered over the keypad, itching to type something, anything.

i'm scared we'll go back to being strangers again' (backspace)

'please don't leave me again' (backspace)

'i love you'

She sighed, closing her eyes. Her finger was just hovering over the button, all she had to do was press it- could she do it?

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

~~~~~~~~~

author's note

(i have no idea what to do.)

((go listen to stay by blackpink and read the lyrics))