Wasted (B.H/M.B Fanfic)

C H A P T E R; 15

NICOLES POV

I put my maroon hoodie on and walk downstairs to see Bryce and Morgan live on younow. I wave at them and Morgan smiles. I walk outside and notice Mikey sitting on the stairs outside of his house. I look away and put my headphones on and broken by Seether comes on.

I started walking on the sidewalk while it was pretty much dark outside. I continue walking when I felt someone grab my shoulder. I turn around and see someone in a black hoodie. "Um can I help you?" I ask. "Its me, Jake" the unknown person says and then puts down his hood and it was in fact Jake. "What do you want?" I ask and back up alittle. "I thought I came here to work things out with you babe" he started and grabbed my hand. "That was until you threatened to hurt my friend if I talked to him.." I reply. He steps closer to me and smirks, "Do you like him?" He asks in his deep voice. "N-No" I stutter. Fuck.

He smiled, "good because no one can have you but me" he said and started kissing me. It didn't feel good, mikeys was way better. I couldn't let him get to my head. I won't let him ruin me again. I push him back. "I don't like you anymore jake, you hurt me." I say. "But I love you" he tells me. "Well I don't love you anymore" I say harshly. "It's mikey isn't it?" Jake says starting to get angry. It was. But he couldn't find that out. "N-No it's not."I stutter and he shakes his head. He turns away then looks at me. He then slaps me across the face. I step back and hold my cheek. "Jake!?" I yell at him. "Do you want me to go back to my old habits princess?" He says smirking. I shake my head no. He smiles, "then your gonna stay with me" he says and winks at me then walks away. I stood there dumbfolded. I fucked up once again. Why am I so scared of him..

I start to walk back home and I see Mikey still sitting on the stairs. My cheek still stung a lot but I tried to ignore it. Mikey looked at me and I looked at him. "Hey" he said. "Hi" I mumbled. "Are you okay? Your left cheek is redder than the other one?" Mikey says coming closer to me. "Uh- yeah I'm fantastic." I reply and fake smile. "Don't lie" he says and I look at him shocked, "w-what?" I ask him. "I know that was a fake smile." He adds. I sigh, "I'm fine, now I'm going inside my house away from you, so bye." I say not meaning it and walk inside my house. I feel tears run down my face and i run upstairs to my room. Fuck fuck fuck..

Trigger warning ahead!!

I lock my door and go to my bathroom that was connected to my room. I go in and shut the door. I go into my cabinets and try to find a blade. I find a big one and grab it. I shut the cabinet and sit on the cold bathroom floor. I slid the cold Razer blade against my wrists and feel the numbness that I so much adore. I then did it again, then again, and again until my lower wrist was filled with blood which was now dripping on the floor. I smile at my wrist missing this feeling so much, realizing I relapsed. Well fuck. All well. Haha it's not like I get a gold metal for not relapsing.

I hear someone knock on my door and I hurridly clean up the mess but my wrist wouldn't stop bleeding. Fuck. Ill just act like I was sleeping. I grab a hoodie and put it on. I make sure no blood or cuts were noticeable and open the door. "You woke me up" I say tiredly. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask you how it went with Mikey" Morgan says. "What do you mean?" I ask. I didn't go talk to him, as far as I know..

"Oh," Morgan replied. "Uh- never mind" Morgan adds and I look at her confused. "Okay- I'm going to sleep, so night." I reply and shut my door. I roll my eyes at her, she's so confusing sometimes. I look down and see blood on my hand. Fuck. Did she see that?

I run back to the bathroom and clean up to the blood on my arm. I made sure the blood wasn't going to come out more, or at least alot of it, and put my sleeve back down. I go to my bed and lay down. I grab my phone and decide to listen to some music. I shuffle Spotify and Got You On My Mind by NF comes on.

Jake has made me not know what actual love is. I'm scared to even fall in love with someone again. They'll end up breaking my heart once again. They'll leave, when they say they never will. They won't come back, they won't check on you, they'll just leave. And never come back. The feeling will turn to void. Just void. Emptiness. And thats what Jake made me feel. Empty.