Finding My Way Home

Chapter 4

Ethan

When I exit the bathroom, Kellie and Joey are sitting with my in-laws. They look to me for comfort, for reassurance that everything will be ok. Time to put on the mask. I open my arms, and they run to me. They both bombard me with questions. "Hold up a minute. Sit down, and I'll explain what I can to you."

Everyone looks at me with fear and concern in their eyes. Bill and Barbara especially because Diane is their only child. I take a few seconds to gather my thoughts. "Mommy is still in recovery. The operation was successful, and Uncle Jerry said Mommy would be sleeping for a few days while her body recovers from the surgery."

"What happens when Mom wakes up?" Joey asks.

This, I can answer. "Every operation is different Joey. No two patients react the same way after a major operation. Mom will have a lot of pain, and we can control that with medication. We also have to watch for residual swelling in the area near the injury."

"What's residideal swelling Daddy?"

I take Kellie's hand and turn her palm up. "Do you remember when you cut your hand on the fence by the pool?" She nods her head yes. "And, do you remember how the skin around the wound was sore? Well, that's residual swelling. The area around where you were hurt is sensitive. The same thing applies to Mommy. The area around where Uncle Jerry had to operate is sore, and some swelling is normal."

"But, how can they help swelling when it's in her head? I don't understand Daddy?"

How do I explain a brain stent to an eight-year-old child? "Honey, Uncle Jerry is the best doctor to help Mommy. He has all kinds of secrets that he uses to help his patients. He has a special one to help Mom. I don't want you to be scared honey. Mommy is in an excellent hospital, and Uncle Jerry will take good care of her."

"Will you be there too, Daddy? You are the best doctor in the world."

*****

We have been at the hospital for most of the day. Kellie and Joey sleep on and off in a room one of the nurses provided. No one wants to leave the hospital. I suggested that my in-laws check into the hotel across the street from the hospital. They offer discounts on room rates for family members of hospital patients. They want to be near Diane, and I agree. I do not want my children living at the hospital. Mom and Dad have volunteered to come home with us and stay with the kids while I am at the hospital.

Because Diane is in ICU, we are only permitted a brief visit. It kills me having to leave her all alone. I just can't do it. I have to be with her. Once we arrive home, Mom and Dad take over for me. Kellie is exhausted, and she quickly falls asleep. Joey is too high strung to sleep. He is in his room staring at the TV. The blank expression on his face scares me. What is he thinking? I need to make sure he is ok before I go back to the hospital. His bedroom door is open, and when I walk into his room, he rolls onto his side, facing away from me. I know he doesn't want me to see him crying. I place my hand on his shoulder, and he breaks wide open. I lay down next to my son and wrap my arm around him. He is shaking, and I try my best to comfort him.

"It's ok to be upset Joey. Today is very upsetting for all of us. Your mother has the best doctors and nurses taking care of her. I'm going back to the hospital now. I want you to know that I am very proud of you son, and I love you."

Joey rolls over and faces me. His tear stained face affects me like a knife in the gut. I want to kill the bastard that hurt my family. We are all hurting, not just my wife.

"Are you sure Mom will be ok? What happens if she doesn't recover from her injuries? Will she die?"

I don't have a crystal ball. I can't predict the future, and it would be careless of me to make promises that are not in my control. I won't lie to my son. "With any surgery, there are risks involved. Mom has had a major surgery. The brain is the most delicate organ in the body. We must be patient while your mother recovers. I won't lie to you, Joey. It will take a long time for her to recover. We must be strong for her, but I also want you to make me a promise. If the stress gets to be overwhelming, talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me. Mom and Dad will stay with us for a few weeks. Speak to them. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, call me. Don't hold in your feelings."