Finding My Way Home

Chapter 32

Diane

I awake to the most delicious feeling of Ethan's body wrapped around mine. I don't want to move, but the need to go to the bathroom is urgent. "Ethan, wake up. I need to use the bathroom."

"What time is it?" I hear him ask sleepily.

I look over at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's six-thirty."

"Ok, it's time to get up anyway. You need to be dressed and have breakfast by eight, which is when Linda and Patti arrive. I can't wait to see their faces when they see you!"

"I cannot wait to meet them. Patti and Linda have helped me so much the past few months, and I want to thank them."

"That's sweet of you to say, honey. Linda and Patti have become part of the family."

After Ethan helps me into the bathroom, I take a quick shower with his help. Ethan places a fold up chair in the tub, and it felt so incredibly good having the warm water soothe my aches and pains. I know therapy will be painful, but I am determined to walk unassisted by Christmas. Breakfast this morning is a thick protein shake, and surprisingly, my stomach feels full. Several times, I had to stop drinking because I felt like I was choking. Ethan had to remind me again to tuck my chin before swallowing. Hopefully, once I see the speech therapist, this will become easier. I need to gain weight. This morning I had a good look at my body and didn't like what I saw. I look emaciated, and I've lost a significant amount of weight.

Since my hair is still short, I spike it up with styling gel, and Ethan helps me to get dressed. None of my clothes fit me, and so I have no choice but to wear sweatpants with a drawstring to keep my pants from falling down my legs. I topped off my plain outfit with a tee shirt and sweater. I'm sitting up in bed drinking a cup of tea with Thicken in it. I read the label, and it's just cornstarch, but it helps me swallow without aspirating. The consistency once added to my tea is more like thick honey. Ethan wants me to drink at least four protein shakes a day, in addition to the baby food. I don't know if my stomach can handle all of this, but the shakes are only eight ounces at a time, and if I spread them out throughout the day, I should be okay. I hear the doorbell ring and the voices of two women. This must be Linda and Patti arriving. Ethan stops them at the door, and I hear him talking to them.

"I want to let you know that there has been a change in Diane's condition since you last saw her on Wednesday. We spent the night in the emergency room. I just want to prepare you for what you are about to see."

"Is her condition worse that it was on Wednesday?" one of the nurses asks him, her voice full of concern. They are going to slap him when they see me.

"No, her condition is not worse, just...different. You'll see how different in a minute."

"Oh, okay." I hear another voice say. "Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. She's our girl now, and we will take care of her."

Her words touch me deeply. I don't know these women, but for the last six months, they have been my lifeline, because I know it down to my soul, that without their care and compassion, I would not be physically where I am now. I can't wait to meet them. I hear Ethan opening the door, and I place my teacup on the table next to me. I feel nervous, and the thought of that has me laughing to myself. When the door opens, and two young nurses walk into the room, they stop, slack-jawed, and stare at me. No one is moving, and I find this hilarious for some reason. A laugh bubbles up and out of me, and I reach out my hands to them.

"It's so nice to finally meet the two of you. Ethan has told me so much about how you have taken care of me, and I want to thank you."

The blond-haired nurse is the first to move, and she catapults herself into the room and is by my side in a matter of seconds. I look at her name tag. This is Linda. "Oh my God, I can't believe you're awake. Look at you! You're gorgeous! I'm so happy for you." Then she starts to cry, and I cry with her.