Finding My Way Home

Chapter 38

Diane

It's seven in the morning, and I've been awake for a few hours. Ethan sleeps peacefully next to me. It's hard to imagine that two days from now we will renew our wedding vows. As I lay here, I look across the bedroom at my wedding dress hanging in a garment bag on the closet door. I wanted something simple but elegant, and my dress is beautiful. Catherine helped me to find my gown, and yesterday I had the final fitting. I was unsure about spaghetti straps, but when I put it on yesterday, I felt like a princess. The bodice of the gown shimmers with seed pearls and the train flows around me. My veil is short because I wanted something simple. This afternoon, Mom and I are getting a manicure and pedicure. Catherine asked me last month if I wanted my parents to attend the wedding, and I told her no. Since I've been home, they have not visited me once, and while I am sad about that, I can't worry about it either. When I roll over, Ethan is staring at me.

"Good morning sweetheart."

I move closer to him and kiss his beautiful mouth. Ethan and I decided to wait until our wedding to make love. I know it sounds strange, but without my memory, this is a new experience for me, and I wanted it to happen on our wedding night.

"What do you have planned for today, honey?"

"Well, if I ever find the energy to get out of bed, Mom and I are having a girl's day out. It's manicure and pedicure first, then I need to make a quick stop to pick up Kellie's dress, then we are having lunch. I'm looking forward to spending the day with Mom. What are you doing today?"

"I'm driving down to Cape May with Dad this morning to help him set up for the wedding. We have to pick up the tent, the tables and chairs, and a few other things. Joey is coming with me, and we'll stay at the house until the wedding. Jerry will drive you, Kellie, and Mom, tomorrow afternoon. Are you excited?"

"I am so excited I can't stand it. I'll miss you tonight." Ethan opens his arms, and I curl up against him. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. This is where I belong, in his arms, in his heart. "Can we just stay like this for a few minutes?"

"Oh, definitely, sweetheart, this is where you belong, in my arms."

"I was just thinking the same thing. I love you so much, Ethan."

Ethan holds me tighter against him, "In a few days, we start the next chapter of our lives, and I want to tell you now that I am so damn proud of your strength and your determination to put everything behind you and move forward with your life. I know it's not easy, and I know that we will have flashbacks. I want you to promise me that you will tell me if or when this happens. I'll promise to do the same. I want us to have a happy life, honey."

"I promise. I know that a few months of therapy is not a cure-all. I still think about it and probably always will. It's a part of who I am now, and pushing it to the side or ignoring it is not healthy. Right now, I feel fantastic, and I don't want anything to spoil our wedding day."

"Well, my darling, I won't let anything ruin our special day. I've waited a long time for this day."

*****

Three hours later, Ethan and Joey are on the road, and Jerry takes Kellie to the zoo. I'm so excited to spend the day with Mom.

"So, what do you want to do first?" Mom asked me.

"I think we should pick up Kellie's dress. She is going to love it. Her only requirement was that she wants to look like a princess."

Catherine laughs. "I think you nailed it. Pink silk with a sequins bodice and the sash at the waist with the big pink bow is icing on the cake. Kellie will flip out when she sees the dress. Pink is her favorite color."