Finding My Way Home

Chapter 5

Diane

I hear voices again. Who is Diane?

Am I Diane? I can't remember.

Do they know me? Are they my family?

Do I have a family?

My head hurts. I can't focus.

I see a little girl at a zoo.

Who is the little girl?

She looks so happy. The images are vivid.

She is with her father, and they are laughing.

"Daddy; I want to see the giraffes. Can you lift me so I can see?"

The father laughs and lifts the little girl onto his shoulders.

How old is she?

She claps happily. "Daddy, aren't they pretty?"

"Yes, they are, honey. Do you want to feed the giraffes?"

"Can I Daddy?"

The man hands the little girl something, and she stretches out her arm.

Oh, the animal is beautiful.

I feel excited as she hands the giraffe the food.

I can feel her happiness. It's an incredible feeling.

Now I see the father giving the girl something to eat.

"Don't tell Mommy that I gave you a hot dog for lunch, okay sweetheart."

"Why would Mommy be mad if I ate a hot dog?"

"Mommy thinks hot dogs are not good for little girls."

"Mommy is a funny bunny. Hot dogs are great!"

The father laughs. "Yes, they are, do you want another one?"

"Can I have some of that green stuff on it?"

"That green stuff is relish."

"Oh, can I still have it?"

Oh no, the image is gone.

Where did it go?

Come back, please!

I'm alone and frightened of the darkness that surrounds me.

It is pressing me down. I can't escape it!

Who am I?

Ethan

I receive a very unpleasant call from Doctor Christopher Simmons, Chief of Staff. The Board Members want to see me...now. What the hell do they want? I have a sick feeling I know, and I'll fight them tooth and nail. When I enter the boardroom, I see the usual faces. I'm looking at the medical review committee, and my blood runs cold.

"Doctor. Miller, please take a seat."

Once I sit down, I feel like a bug under a microscope. Jerry is in hot water, and I'll fight them because he saved Diane's life.

"Doctor. Miller; it has come to our attention that Doctor. Jeremy Miller, your brother, is the lead neurosurgeon for your wife, Diane Miller. He performed surgery yesterday against hospital protocol. As you are aware, the AMA has strict guidelines on how doctors treat family members. The American Medical Association's Code of Medical Ethics: Opinion 8.19 states, "Physicians generally should not treat themselves or members of their immediate families." The American College of Physicians Ethics Manual states, "Physicians should avoid treating themselves, close friends, or members of their family. As physicians, we are taught early in our careers to keep a proper professional boundary between our patients and us. It's obvious to all of us that emotions are a factor in Doctor Miller's decision to operate on his sister-in-law. His decision to violate hospital policy puts the board in a very awkward position. Doctor Miller is a gifted surgeon, but there must be some form of punishment for his lack of judgment."