Finding My Way Home

Chapter 29

Ethan

The lights are still on in the house when I park the car, and as I lift Diane out of the car and into the wheelchair, the front door opens, and my mother runs down the driveway. She stops in front of Diane and burst out crying.

"Oh, Diane honey, I have missed you so much. I am so happy you are finally home with us. How do you feel sweetheart?"

I look down, and my wife's face is a mixture of happiness, trepidation, and fear. This must be an awful shock for Diane. To realize you've lost months of your life, months that you'll never get back is unnerving, to say the least. Diane is struggling to answer my mother's question.

"Mom, Diane's throat is sore from the nasogastric tube, and she's having difficulty speaking. Give her a minute to write her response. It will take a few days for her throat to recover."

Diane looks up and smiles at me. Picking up the notepad, she writes, "I feel tired and a little confused. All I want to do now is go to sleep. Can we talk more in the morning, please?"

My mother leans down and kisses Diane's forehead. "Whatever you want sweetheart, I'm just happy you are home. Kellie is sleeping, and I'll stay the night, just in case the two of you need anything. Jerry told me that he would pick up Joey at the train station tomorrow morning. Oh, he is going to be so happy to see you, Diane. We've missed you so much."

Just mentioning Kellie and Joey have my wife smiling, and it's that moment in time that I know eventually, everything will be as it should be. Patience is a virtue, and I will need it because I know at some point in the next few days, or maybe weeks, PTSD will set in, and Diane will need me. I lean down to whisper to my wife, "Let's get you in the house and into a comfortable bed. We can discuss all of this later today."

Once I wheel Diane into the house, I stop for a few seconds as my eyes scan the living room. We have lived in this house for close to fifteen years, and I can say in all honesty that I have never appreciated my home more than I do now. It's comforting to me and filled with precious memories that I will carry with me until I take my final breath. Just knowing that Diane is finally home, and she is once again in the comfort of our home means everything to me. The hospital room is still set up, and at this hour of the morning, it's easier for her to sleep there, but I don't want my wife to see all the medical equipment. I don't want Diane to know, at this point anyway, how serious her condition was. Instead, I lift her into my arms and carry her up to our bedroom. I want to hold my wife in my arms. It's all I've thought about for many months.

When I kick open the bedroom door, I hear Diane whimper against my neck. She is crying, and I can understand why. This day is so emotional for the both of us, Diane especially. I know she has many questions to ask me, and I will tell her the truth. However, tonight I just want to hold her in my arms and close my eyes. I gently place her on top of the bed and shut the door. She is still wearing the hospital gown, and I want to take the fucking thing off her and burn it. I never want to see her wear it again. I walk into the bathroom and fill the tub with warm water. I want my girl to feel good again, and a bubble bath is just what she needs.

When I return to our bedroom, I lift Diane into my arms and walk towards the bathroom. Her eyes dart back and forth. She is taking in her surroundings, and looks up to me as we approach the bathroom. I whisper in her ear, "My girl needs a warm bubble bath and a beautiful nightgown. Let me take care of you honey. Just close your eyes and relax, sweetheart."

The smile that lights up my wife's face blinds me. I've missed Diane's smile, and I am so grateful to see it again. Once the water is warm enough, I remove the offending gown and throw it in the trashcan. I lift Diane into my arms and gently place her in the tub. "I know you don't remember this Diane, but over the years, we've taken many baths together. I don't want you sitting in the tub by yourself. You are still weak, and it's not safe for you. If you feel funny about this, I'll keep my boxers on. I just want to hold you in my arms."