Finding My Way Home

Chapter 28

Diane

I am so confused. Why am I in the hospital again?

It takes me a few minutes to realize that I've been sick again.

A doctor is asking me questions, but I can't focus on what he is saying.

It takes all my concentration to listen to him.

What is wrong with me?

"Diane, my name is Craig Jenkins. Can you understand me? Nod your head if you understand me."

Why is he asking me to nod my head? I do as he asks, and he smiles at me.

"That's good Diane. Do you know where you are?"

Of course, I know where I am. I'm in a hospital. What's wrong with my voice? I nod yes again.

While he is speaking to me, a nurse is sticking me with a needle. Why do they always have to stick me with a needle? A flash of memory hits me suddenly. I've done this before. I look down at my arm, and I don't see a cast.

It's all coming back to me, and my head is throbbing. I had an operation. I had a broken leg, arm, and ribs. I had problems with my memory. They cut off my hair.

I bang my hand on the table to get the doctor's attention. I move my hand along the table to simulate writing. He gets what I am trying to say and gives me a piece of paper and a pen.

I write, "Where is Ethan? I need him, now."

I hand the paper to him, and he asks the nurse to get Ethan for me. While I wait for him, I make a decision that will change my life as I know it now. I move my rings to my left hand. I don't want to be alone in this world. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but today, I am going home to my family.

Ethan

I am so lost in thought; I do not see the nurse standing in front of me.

"Dr. Miller, your wife is asking to see you."

I am stunned. "Diane is asking for me?" I ask like a fucking idiot.

"Yes. Come with me please."

I look at my dad, and he is smiling at me. "Go. We'll wait here for you."

My legs feel like rubber as I follow the nurse. When I walk into the room, Craig hands me a piece of paper. What I see has me falling to my knees. Gut wrenching sobs escape me. I can't help how I feel at this moment. I hold the piece of paper to my chest. I want to keep it forever because these words will stay with me for the rest of my life. The note said, "I remember everything after the accident. I need you, Ethan. Please hold me. I'm afraid."

I don't know how long I remain on the floor. I can't move. My body feels frozen in time. My mind is racing. I hear movement in the room, and then I feel Craig's hand on my arm. He's whispering to me. "Ethan, get up off the floor. Diane needs you." Diane needs me. That's all the motivation I need to stand. When I do, her beautiful face is smiling at me.

"Everyone, out of the room," I bark. I look up to see the nurses smiling as they leave the room.

"You have ten minutes, Ethan. I'll be back. We still need to run a few tests."

"Close the door on your way out, please."

Diane is looking at me, really looking at me. I see something different in her eyes. I see the recognition, and most importantly, I see the connection we have with each other. I sit next to her, open my arms, and hold the love of my life. I'm crying again, and it feels wonderful. "Oh, Diane, I've missed you so much. How do you feel, honey? Is your throat sore?"

Diane nods her head yes, and reaches for the notepad.

"I remember what you said after the operation. I died, Ethan. Then.... then what happened in the park. I was so upset after the argument with Barbara. She said awful things to me. She upset me, and I don't know why I left the house."

"Those men, they would have raped me if I hadn't fainted. My head felt like it would explode, and then everything went dark. I lost the will to live, Ethan. I wanted to die. I never wanted to feel that pain again. I didn't want to leave all of you, but I just could not face another day without my memories."

"I heard everything that went on around me. I heard you reading to me. I heard Kellie and Joey talking to me. I felt Kellie lying next to me and placing George on my chest. Where are they, Ethan? I need to see them."

"Joey will be home tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Mom is at home with Kellie."

"How long have I been sick? Don't cover it up Ethan. Tell me the truth."

"It's been almost five months Diane. The incident at the park happened on your birthday. Your parents arrived uninvited to the party we had at my parent's house. There was an argument, and my dad asked them to leave."

"I remember. Bill punched you in the face. I'm sorry that happened to you, Ethan. Why do they do this to me?"

My anger is simmering close to the surface. "I don't know why your parents act the way they do. Let's not talk about them. How do you feel sweetheart?"

"I feel a little confused and I'm having a little trouble concentrating. Is that normal?"

"Yes. It's a normal reaction. You've been through a lot the past six plus months. It's going to take a little time to sort through everything. Physically, how do you feel?"

"My throat feels like it's on fire, and I feel weak like my legs are tired."

"Don't worry about anything. Craig is an excellent doctor, and he will take good care of you."

"I'm not worried as long as I have you. Ethan, please kiss me."

I have waited so long to hear those words from my beautiful wife. My hands gently caress Diane's face, as I've done thousands of times over the years. This time, it feels different. It feels like I am touching her for the first time. Her eyes fill with tears, and I lean in and kiss them away. "No more tears, baby. You've come back to me, and I love you with every fiber of my being."

When my lips touch hers, I feel like I've come home from a long journey. I close my eyes and lose myself in a moment that I will never forget. Diane's fingers run through my hair, and when I reach up to touch her hand, I freeze and break the kiss. I look at her with eyes that burn with love. "Are you sure?" I whisper against her lips.

"I remember what you said to me. You said that when I felt I was ready to come home, I should move my rings to my left hand. At the time, I was so worried that I would never remember our life together. I was just starting to have hope that we would eventually resume our life together, even if I never regained my memories. Please take me home, Ethan."

*****

Three hours later, Diane signs the discharge papers. Craig gives me a therapy plan with recommendations for speech therapy along with a psychological workup. The next few weeks will be difficult for her, but I vow I will never leave her side. The months of lying in a catatonic state have taken its toll on her body. While her esophagus is functioning normally, lack of use now requires a blended diet while we work on speech therapy, along with physical therapy. My father and brother are still waiting for me, and when I wheel Diane into the hallway, my dad kneels in front of Diane and holds her in his arms. It unnerves me to see my dad cry because it's something that I've only seen once in my life, and that was when my Grandmother passed away. Seeing my dad cry for my wife is a humbling feeling.

"The heart never forgets, sweetheart. Welcome home honey, we have missed you terribly. Let's get out of here."

Diane picks up the notepad. "Yeah, I never want to see another hospital for as long as I live."