The room 102 - z.m fics

What to think ? What to say ?

I was completely in shock. I didn't know how could I tell somebody that my dad died, I never thought he would die before me when he kept saying when I was younger that he would kill me one day but he ended up dead before anybody else. My life with him was scary. I may sound like a lunatic daughter but I wasn't that sorry, I was just so sad that now I would have to face everything now. My mom would care about me now when she basically didn't call me during months.

-          I am..just..

-          You don't need to say anything, Christine, I couldn't believe when I saw him.

-          You saw him ?

-          I did, babe.

-          How did he look ?

-          Chris, I am not going to..

-          Tell me. – I interrupted him wanting to know if what I heard made sense. – Just tell me.

-          His..his eyes weren't there. He was all blood. He hadn't some teeth..his body was awful..I..I don't want to remember. I am so sorry.

-          It's..it's enough. – I said hugging him. – This shit is so scary. I don't know where to start. I need to call her..I need to get in the hospital now.

-          It's so weird that nobody called you until now. Didn't people see ? I am feeling so weird and I didn't like him that much.

-          I can tell you the same to be honest.

-          Babe..

-          No, trust me, I saying the truth and you know I mean it. I am just so scared.

-          You won't lose anybody more, I promise babe.

-          He was never mine, Zayn, he never cared that much. – I kept playing my cold side, maybe my real one.

Zayn stayed hugging me for a while, trying to make me calm down and feel better and less cold but nothing could make me forget the pain that he gave me his whole life.

  I remember to be little and he used to get drunk home and break my toys that were on floor, I used to see him from my window's room fighting with our neighbors, I used to cry when he was hitting my drunk mom in the living room. I feel like he never cared that much to me until I grew up and I had my own money, he used to visit me more and talk to me more than he did while he could have the chance to be my best friend when I was 6 years old but he wasted it on coming back home, drunk and drugged.

  Everybody knew that my life with my family was awful, we were rich but what the money matters when you see your mom drunk, your dad hitting her, your mom trying to walk and your dad not even knowing what you were studying anymore. My life was never perfect until the moment Zayn came in my life and I started to pass every weekend in his house, that's why Trisha always wanted us to be friends, she wanted me to don't see that view, the view of seeing your own parents killing each other. Guess the life, killed himself first.

The phone started to ring. I knew it could be my mom.

-          Do you want me to pick up ? – Zayn asked.

-          No babe, I have to do it by myself.

I picked up. I was right, I listened her voice after months, I listened her calling my name after years. She was crying, and I didn't even let one single tear fall. I kept listening her talking about how much she is sorry for what happened with my dad, how sad she is, and that she wasn't expecting it to happen like that. I heard she talking about the cancer he found out, I heard she saying she and him had been together some days ago. I wanted to laugh of how ironic that sounded to me, I wanted to punch both of them in the face for not even giving me a simple call or to even invite me but I kept listening her, without saying a simple word or turning the phone off. Zayn was looking at me, worried, for not hearing me saying something. She was talking too much, too much for being that sorry for seeing him dead, how she said. My mom told me she was going to be in the hospital soon to treat about everything with his sisters and invited me to go with her.

-          I am sorry mom, I can't go. – she finally listened my voice after everything she said.

-          Christine..he is your dad..

-          Exactly, and he didn't was a real one mom. I am sorry. I can't go.

-          Are you sure you want to do this ?

-          Just call me when is the funeral. See you soon, mom. – I turned off the phone.

-          Babe.. – Zayn came closer to me. – You ok ?

And I finally let all the tears fall from my eyes in his shoulders. That's what I was afraid of lose: him. That was what I needed and I couldn't lose him.

-          I..I feel..so..scared. – I said between sobs.

-          Don't be. I am here, alright ? I won't let anything bad happen to you.