I Haven't Gone Too Far (Completed)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

“how come you two know each other?” nakatayo pa ako at nakapameywang. 

“geez. My mom told me that this resto is fine dinning, bakit may sisa na naligaw dito?”

“HA-HA! Shut up Clarence, just answer my question. Or you!” turo ko naman kay Nikko. Pero wala pa ring sumagot sakin. Clarence forced me to sit down.

“JC and I are—ou!”

“WHAT?? What does ou mean?” tumingin lang sya kay Nikko na para bang may telepathy sila or mutual understanding or whatever that freaks me out and pisses me off more

“well, we’ve met in Manila in a gathering. Heard about the ADHOC?” sagot naman sakin ni Clarence.

“drinks,party and all those things? Nikko doesn’t do that” nung nakita ko lang na nakatingin sakin si Nikko saka lang ako nagkamalay. 

Geez, kaizen. Remember, Nikko before and Nikko now might be two different persons already. 

“but yeah, we’ve met there” sagot naman ni Nikko. Pahiya ka tuloy kaizen. Epic burn.  

I saw Clarence na halos mamilipit na kapipigil nung tawa nya. Sige! Ngayon ka pa mang-asar!

“right… and it’s such a co-incidence na magkakilala rin pala kayo ni JC!” while he’s doing that creepy smiling face.

“yeah. Whatever. Anong ginagawa mo rito at nanggugulo ka?”

“binibisita ka. Namiss kita eh  ”

“so dapat na ba akong magcelebrate nyan? HORRAY!” finake ko naman yung palakpak at ngiti ko. Nikko’s just looking at the table cloth now.

“I don’t know. You think so?” nilapit ni Clarence yung mukha nya sa mukha ko na nakikita ko na yung pores nya.

And of course ang classic move in response to that is…

“THE HECK KAIZEN! WHY DID YOU KICK ME?!?!”

“naglalambing lang naman” sarcasm ko pa.

“so Clarence, are you with someone in particular?” sa wakas nagsalita rin si Nikko.

“I’m actually with my mom. She’s upstairs. Kadarating ko lang from hotel eh. We’re staying here for the rest of the break. Mahirap nang mapalayo kay Kaizen eh. Medyo clingy kasi yan” inakbayan nya pa ako. Siniko ko nga.

“manahimik ka nga! Chupi na! hindi ka invited”

“ouch! Ang sakit nun! Tagos sa puso, tulo ang dugo” tumawa naman sya. “so you guys are here on a date?”

No one answered.

“oh no! don’t tell me boyfriend ka ni Kaizen? JC are you wanting to kill me now?”

“boyfriend? What? No!” react ko naman agad. Halatang nagulat doon si Nikko. Okay Kaizen, compose yourself. “NIKKO’s my friend” inemphasize ko talaga yung name na Nikko hoping Clarence would get it. Luckily he’s smart enough to and he did.

“OHHH!” tinuro nya kaming dalawa habang nakanganga pa yung bibig nya “OHH! Yeah! OHHH! I get it” He looked at me for quite a while. Hindi ko nga nagets eh pero alam kong hindi naman sya nanunukso or something.

“o sige na, honey baby, I have to meet my mom” tapos nagbeso sya sakin and flew away.

I swear I wasn’t expecting that. 

And so does Nikko.

“wow” yun lang yung nasabi nya.

“shall we eat?” yeah, that’s the best sentence I’ve constructed this evening.

“I think that’s a great idea!”

Oh dear. How can this evening be more stressful???  

***

The whole night was not as awkward as it may have started. We talked a little bit a lot about almost everything given that doesn’t concern the both of us.  As in anything para lang walang dead awkward air. 

Of course he sent me home after.

“It was really nice talking to you again after all these years” I don’t know pero napasmile ako doon.

“actually, it really was.”

“i-kamusta mo nalang ako kina tita” tumango naman ako. I waved goodbye and started walking in nung tinawag nya ulit yung pangalan ko “KAIZEN!”

“yup?”

“I hope we’re okay” 

“we are.”

“and Clarence. He’s really a great guy” is he trying to sell Clarence to me?

“yeah?” 

“I-I-I mean, you’re both pretty close to each other. I think you’ll look good together”

“what is it, Nikko? Ano ba talagang gusto mong sabihin?” hindi na sya makatingin sakin ng diresto.

“w-wala naman. I’m just trying to say that if you like him—“

“please stop.” Hindi na ako makatingin sa kanya. Tumalikod nalang ako tapos naglakad but I realized I have to tell him kaya humarap ulit ako.

“we just had a date after two years of no connection at all and you’re trying to build me up with Clarence? Classic insensitivity huh!”

“bakit parang galit ka?”

“I don’t know, you tell me”

“ako? Paano ko naman malalaman?”

“wow, Nikko. Two years lang yung nakalipas, hindi 20”

“hindi kita naiintindihan”

“yeah. Of course hindi mo ako naiintindihan. Well, let me tell you this sir. It may have been easy for you, but not for me. Siguro nga awkward para sayo but that’s only because our past for you was so long ago. But it’s not the same for me Nikko. Kung okay sayo na magbigay ako ng opinion ko about sa lovelife and shits mo, what made you think that it will also be okay when you do it to me?”

“so galit kasi kasi ayaw mong sinasabi kong bagay kayo ni Clarence?”

“nope. I’m mad coz it’s coming from you, Nikko”

“so ayaw mo ng opinion ko? You could’ve just said that”

“Hindi lang kasi yun Nikko eh! Ayokong marinig yang boses mo, makita yung mukha mo, makausap ka, makarinig ang kahit na anong tungkol sayo”

“wow. I didn’t know you hated me that much”

“I don’t hate you! I hate it that I cannot hate you! I hate that I am feeling this way. I hate that I know deep down that I still like you. And anything, even just a little thing about you that might eventually make me fall in love would you again, as much as possible I would want to avoid those.”

“Kaizen”

“See the clearer picture now Nikko? Yan yung dahilan kung bakit ayokong marinig na sinasabi mong bagay kami ni Clarence coz it makes me feel na ipinamimigay mo nalang ako sa iba. Na wala na sayo lahat. And you know what makes it even worse? I am afraid…

I am so afraid I’m right.”