HIS DIARY √ soonhoon [editing]

05 - Diary Entry

Hello.

Waaaa ~ A very tiring day. Kaninang umaga pumunta ako sa dorm nila Chan at nag movie marathon kami kasama si Jun-hyung at Hao. After nun ay pumunta kami sa Mall. Haha. Timezone is Life. After a year kanina lang ulit ako nakapaglaro don. The last time was .. Nvm. I already forgot :v

Habang naglalaro't nagsasaya may nagnakaw ng atensyon ko. Nakita ko silang magkasama. Nag-uusap sa isang coffee shop. They look good together. Habang nag-uusap sila sa cafe na yun parang nag sslow motion naman ang lahat sa paligid ko. And suddenly everything about us, Hosh, flashbacks. Those moments when nothing else matter— just you and me. But now? All I can do is to put a strong facade mask to hide the tears and pain I felt by seeing both of you. Doing things we used to do. Together.

Hosh, I'm sorry for being a coward. I'm sorry for leaving you without a word. Sorry for not telling you what exactly happened. Nung nalaman ko yung ng tungkol sa sakit ko.. Ikaw ang unang pumasok sa isip ko. I was at a loss of words that time. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. My heart was racing. The air was knocked out of me as reality hit me like a baseball bat.

Sorry for leaving you —for hurting you. Umasa lang naman akong gagaling ako kung agad akong aalis at magpagamot. Sorry for being selfish. Sorry because all I thought of was about being healed. Sorry for being self-centered. Sorry because I can't say this things to you, anymore. And I'm sorry because I couldn't spend my lifetime with you, because I know I was about to leave soon.

Too much drama for this day. I'm sorry, too. Diary. And Happy birthday to my future wife. Ay wala pala tayong future kasi papatayin mo 'ko. Ihateyou. Bye.

-Hoonie
Day98/Saturday