Going Back

Midnight (Kate)

Knowing the two of them, I'll never get the full story. She dances around the issue, citing reasons that I know are fabricated for their split. And he- well he doesn't talk about it. At all. Not a word about her. I don't even think he can bring himself to say her name.

And frankly, he's a mess. It's obvious to everyone. I mean, I think he lives under the impression that he's doing a good job hiding it but he's not fooling anyone. Even Pierce has noticed a difference. I've tried to gently bring it up a few times but it's hard to approach with him. There's immediately a lump in his throat when I mention her name. For the life of me I can't figure out what went so far south so quickly. They were so happy... and he's still so hung up on her. I got a few vague answers out of him one night when he'd had a few glasses of whiskey, but really no details. I thought maybe I'd opened the door to conversation but the progress I thought I'd made was lost by the next morning.  He locked himself away in his studio for the next week and never brought it up again.

Not that she was any better. But it was completely different with her. She gets this steely look on her face and stares the other way. She ignores the question. She changes the subject. And not subtly. Once when the kids were asleep in the backseat I tried to get her to open up about it. I thought since we were in a confined area maybe she'd talk to me. I couldn't have been more wrong. She's tiny, but she can be terrifying if you push her. And really, I shouldn't be butting in... but at this point, someone has to. I don't understand what the issue is. Other than the fact that they're both so damn hard headed.

My thoughts were interrupted as my tea kettle began to sing and I removed it from the heat. I placed a bag of chamomile into the hot water and wrapped my hands around the warm mug and glanced at the clock. 12:15am. The kids were sleeping soundly but I just couldn't rest.

I buzzed the intercom to the studio, wanting a little time with dad. I'd barely seen him in days. Rarely did I interrupt his session time but his voice came through from the other end, inviting me to come down. I quickly made him a sandwich, knowing better than to think he'd stop to eat on his own, and descended the stairs.

I was right, he looked like hell, though he tried to keep a chipper face. There were empty bottles and full ashtrays, neither of which surprised me. What did astound me was the volume of paper littered around the room. Each sheet was filled with his handwriting, clearly flowing into lyrics that had been revised multiple times.

"What are you working on," I asked, trying to mask my sheer astonishment of his current condition. I was trying to be casual.

"I'm putting tougher a new solo album," he told me, not yet touching his sandwich.

"Oh. I had no idea. That's great dad. How's it coming?" I was trying to be upbeat. Mom has warned me that he was a like a mad scientist with a temper when it came to recording.

He waived me off. "I'm working on it. How are you sweetheart? Where are Pierce and Livi," he questioned, looking around a bit.

I chuckled. "Daddy, it's the midnight. They're asleep. I just came down to check on you. I haven't seen you in forever."

He immediately softened. "I'm know, and I'm sorry. I just get so caught up in all of this," he motioned to the sound board.

I nodded my understanding. We chatted for a few moments, though I could tell he was in no mood to talk and our conversation was a bit strained. "Well, I'm heading to bed. Don't forget that Pierce has a soccer game on Thursday evening. He'd love to see you there."

He nodded his understanding.

I stopped in the doorway, turning to face him again. "Daddy?" I questioned as he looked up at me. "You've got to talk to Mom. Please. You're both miserable without each other, and I can't stand seeing you too like this. I've waited my whole life for a family, and now you two aren't even speaking. I've never seen a couple more meant to be together. Just go to her."

He sighed, and I knew that wasn't a good sign. That's she'd broken him. "It's not that easy, Kate. But I've told you before not to worry about it. We both love you more than you can imagine, we just, we have some issues."

"Well that's pretty damn obvious," I chuckled, and he actually gave me half a smirk back. "Look Dad, I know I'm not the one you want to talk to about this, and frankly I don't even know what caused you guys to fall apart. But she's just as miserable as you two are. I mean, I'm telling you, do you know what I'd give to have that kind of love? Seeing the way the two of you are, they way you look at each other, I've never had anything close to that. Tyler never made me feel that way. Until I met you guys I didn't even know what I was missing."

He smiled sadly, opening his arms and I crossed the room to give him a hug.

"I'm sorry things ended up like this, Kate."

I didn't directly respond. He knew how I felt about the whole situation. "Goodnight, Daddy. I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart," he offered as I headed to bed.

He'd left me no choice, I had to take drastic measures. Tomorrow morning I was going to Mom. I was going to have the same conversation with her and I wasn't leaving until I had some kind of an answer.