Going Back

Teamwork (Her)

Kate returned to Santa Monica faster than I would have liked but I was grateful for the progression in our relationship during her visit. We'd been able to spend a good amount of time together and I felt that we had both grown quite a lot. Another upside was that I was able to spend time with Pierce and Olivia. I already loved those children more than I thought possible. Pierce finally warmed up to me and had such a bright little personality. I could easily see how he and Lindsey would be two peas in a pod though, and they are. And Olivia. Sweet, tiny, little Olivia. She took my breath away when I first saw her. She was the spitting image of her mother when she was born and it brought back a lot of memories for me. A lot of tough memories. Memories I'd been hiding away for a long time. But I realized as I held her close that maybe this was my second chance. That if I worked hard enough I could restore my damaged relationship with Kate and watch Pierce and Olivia grow up.

And so I worked. I worked and worked but I tried not to pressure her. And I think I've been successful. Even now she's calling me on a regular basis and has really loosened up with me. She's even forged a friendship with Landon, and now that she's back in California she's become very close to his girlfriend. Not to mention the fact that Dylan and Brad were absolutely adorable with Pierce- it was easy to see that he was quickly in awe of the older boys. It seems like the proverbial stars are aligning for my little family right now.

The tour is going fairly well too. We are bouncing from city to city but we've managed somehow to avoid any major blowups. And I have to say- I'm shocked at the press' disinterest in Kate. Nobody batted an eye when she came on stage that night- and I was grateful. I don't think she fully understood what that entailed and I wanted her to continue with her normal life as much as possible. Lindsey and I are working well together but I have to say that he is definitely keeping his distance from me in respect to personal matters. I haven't directly mentioned my divorce to him but I am sure that he knows. I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine right now.

I look up when I hear footsteps approaching and see that Lindsey has arrived to accompany me on stage. And he's mad. I know that look. He's just mad at the world. And when he's like this there's no reasoning with him.

He was short with everyone he encountered but we made it through 2 songs before I caught his eye. I'd been exchanging wary glances with the other members of the band, all of us aware of what Lindsey is capable of when is angry.  We all shot each other looks, wondering what had happened and Mick raised an eyebrow at me, almost nudging me forward as the chosen one, heading into the line of fire. If anyone was going to break through to him and head this mean streak off at the pass it looked like it was going to be me. Honestly though, I hoped I could still get through to him but I wasn't so sure. Relief was evident on everyone's faces as he reacted gently to my banter before a song. I approached him during Landslide as I always do, placing my hand on his back as he played, this time giving him an extra warm smile and lightly rubbing his back. I could feel his tensions ease a little, almost as if I had calmed him and reassured him of something.

I didn't want to aggravate the situation so I left him alone for the rest of the performance, complementing him frequently but not actively engaging him. Of course, he didn't speak up too much, but we were all expecting that. Something was off with him, I could tell, and I had the undeniable urge to make it better. I couldn't fight it.

He disappeared as soon as the lights went down, and I certainly didn't chase him. I was concerned, but certainly not stupid. He peeked his head in my dressing room a few moments later- without knocking, I might add.

"Need to talk to you. Come by my room," he told me, scribbling where he was staying on a pen, and closed the door behind himself.

What just happened? When did he start acting this way towards me?