Going Back

Late Night House Calls (Kate)

It had been almost two weeks since I'd talked to Stevie. She hadn't done anything wrong, I was just nervous around her. Unsure of how to move forward. I'd never had a relationship with a mother as an adult and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it. I wasn't really avoiding her, per say, I was just busy. I knew she was leaving for a few weeks in the morning and that would give me some additional time to think.

I'd had an extremely cranky toddler and now a very fussy baby to contend to after my long shift. And on top of it all someone was now knocking not so subtly on my door. I glanced at the clock, still holding a crying Olivia close. 1am. Who in the hell could possibly be here at 1am. The knocking continued as I soothed my baby girl, flipping on the light in the kitchen and making my way over to the front door to look out the peep hole.

I was completely baffled by the familiar face, though it was the last one I expected to see, but I was at the end of my rope with just about everything so I opened the door.

"Lindsey? What are you doing here?"

He was clad in jeans and a tshirt and had a ball cap pulled down to his eyes, though I sincerely doubted anyone in my apartment building at this time of night that would recognize him either way. I stood to the side and let him in, closing the door and latching both of the locks behind us.

He stood by the front door, hands in his pockets somewhat awkwardly as he shifted his weight back and forth.

Olivia continued to cry as I planted a kiss on her head and rubbed her back.

He stared at me, and I could feel him eyeing me up and down, almost making me uncomfortable in the silence. I doubt I was hiding any of my exhaustion or frustration at this point.

He cleared his throat, taking a step towards me and somewhat surprising me when he reached towards Olivia. "Let me take her for a minute," he offered. "You look like you could use a break."

I must have been somewhat stunned as he offered me a reassuring smile and I let him take her from my arms.

"Hi sweetheart," he soothed, bouncing her a little bit. "Why are you crying? Huh?" He began to hum softly, barely audible to me, standing only a few feet away. Before I knew it she quieted and lay against his chest, looking looking up at him with her big eyes, watching him as intently as she could while she fought sleep. Eventually she lost the battle and he looked over to me with a smile. "She's out," he whispered.

I took her from his arms, telling him to make himself comfortable, and excusing myself to the nursery to lay the baby down and quietly slipped back to join Lindsey.

"Thanks," I told him. "She's been crying for hours. But Lindsey, why are you here? What can I help you with?"

He took his hat off, placing it next to him on the couch on top of his jacket and leaned forward, slightly pinching the bridge of his nose and not looking at me yet. "I didn't know you had a daughter," he stated somewhat softly, not yet meeting my gaze.

I was perplexed. Why would he possibly know that? We'd spoken twice and I had made very sure to leave the kids out of the conversation. "Well, I guess you know now," I didn't mean to come off so short but for the love of God it was the middle of the night and I was exhausted. I didn't want to small talk.

He glanced up at me and I could immediately tell he was emotional and I caved a bit. "Livi," I told him. "Her name is Olivia but we call her Livi. My son is already asleep. Pierce. He's three."

He smiled. "Livi," he repeated. "I like that. And Pierce." He seemed to be making a mental note. "We?" He questioned, glancing at my left hand which was currently barren of my wedding band.

I crossed my arms, tucking my ring finger away. "It's 1am Lindsey. Why are you here," I posed the question for the third time. He'd been nice enough to walk me home after breakfast but I was still a little taken aback that he would just show up at my door.

He sighed. "I shouldn't have just dropped by, I apologize for that, and I don't any you to think I'm invading your privacy. It's just- this thing with Stevie. She's upset without you around, and I don't want to get in the middle of whatever's going on but I do want you to think about stopping by to talk to her before we leave tomorrow. I hate to see her like this, it breaks my heart."

I stared at my feet. "Lindsey, it's- it's complicated. And I-" I didn't know how to finish that sentence. I looked up and but my bottom lip, staring out the sliding glass doors that lead to my deck. I didn't want to need her. I didn't want to need anyone.

I know that my chin began to quiver at some point, and I sniffled a bit, but I held it together.

"I know, you both keep saying that. 'It's complicated,' whatever that means. Kate, I know its none of my business but can you just tell me, because it's eating me up inside- is she okay? You're a nurse and neither of you will tell me what in the hell is going on and I just couldn't take it I'd something was wrong with her."

She chuckled a little bit. "Lindsey, if I were treating her I couldn't discuss it with you, but I'll tell you that I'm not attending to her medical needs. It's nothing like that. It's sweet that you care though. You really love her, don't you?"

"It's complicated," he smiled at me, mocking me with my own go to answer about my relationship with Stevie. "But yes, I have always loved her."

"Yeah, I can tell," I gave him a half smile. There was something so genuine about him. I wanted to blurt out everything right on the spot but I refrained. It wasn't the right moment.

"I'll give her a call, Lindsey. It was sweet of you to check in on me."

He put his coat on and headed towards the door.

"Lindsey, I need to ask you a favor," I bit my lip again. "I need you to promise that you won't say anything to Stevie about the kids."

He was perplexed. "Why? Stevie loves kids."

I sighed. "I just- I don't need sympathy. My children have nothing to do with my relationship with my- err, with Stevie. Please?"

He nodded his head once in somewhat somber agreement and left.

He was a good guy, I decided. I wanted to get to know him. I decided I shouldn't be so reserved with the two of them anymore. I'd always wanted a family- my family- and now I had them. I couldn't let my pride ruin it.