Going Back

Taking Control (Her)

When our lips met I certainly didn't pull away. In a moment of utter confusion, when I felt completely lost at sea, he was solid ground. Always had been. My hands ran up his chest and eventually found their way to his shoulders. He finally pulled away ever so slightly but my eyes remained closed. I didn't want the moment to end, and I could still sense his presence so very vividly, his lips lingering for a moment. I knew he wasn't sure how I wanted him to proceed and I was ultimately grateful for his lack of aggressiveness, even though I certainly would have followed down any path he lead me at that particular moment.

He brushed a stray strand of my hair behind my shoulder and looked away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

I desperately didn't want him to finish that sentence so I kissed him again, just a quick peck. "But I'm so glad you did," I whispered.

He gave me a hint of a smirk, obviously unsure where to go from here.

"I should have talked to you. I tried to, but I should have tried harder."

"You didn't do anything wrong," he assured me, wiping the remnants of still fresh tears from my cheeks. "There's been a big misunderstanding and I think the three of us need to sit down."

I nodded my head in agreement. "Does she hate me?"

He pulled me close again. "Far from it. She's a bit intimidated, maybe, but she wants you in her life just as badly as you want her in yours and she's afraid something will go wrong."

I was silent, thinking about where to go from here.

He eventually loosened his arms from around me and I changed clothes and washed my face, still in deep contemplation. I'd wasted enough time already. I needed to take control of the situation and fix things for everyone, including myself. I had to make things right with Kate immediately and I needed to talk to the boys before the party. It was safe to say that I have a few choice words for Brian, but that may be best handled behind a closed door. And then there was Lindsey. He and I needed to sit down and figure out where we were- and where we were going. Privately. A lot was about to change for us and I wanted to be on the same page. But all of that would come later. Right now I had to get back to my baby girl, nothing else seemed to matter.

Once I was ready Lindsey stood to walk me back towards his dressing room. As soon as I stepped into the hallway, however, Brian was waiting outside. He opened his mouth to speak, glaring at Lindsey, but I raised a hand, silencing him immediately. I could tell he was about to start a fight with Lindsey with some off the cuff remark and I didn't have time or energy for that right now.

"Linds, could we have a few minutes alone?"

He nodded his understanding and sat down on a trunk right outside of my door, providing me with the requested privacy while still sending a clear message to Brian that he wasn't going very far. He'd never stopped being protective of me, and though it often went unmentioned it was something for which I was grateful to my core.

"What the hell kind of a stunt were you trying to pull out there?" Brian's words came at me like venom. He was lucky he hadn't gotten to me before Lindsey, I'd calmed down considerably after he'd spoke to me.

"Me? Brian, I don't know what you could possibly be thinking. I know the shit that you've pulled that lead us to this point and let me assure you that you're not going to get away with it."

He began to interrupt me but I raised my voice and continued.

"I have put up with you for years but I just won't do it anymore. Tomorrow you will be couriered divorce paperwork. We're done. Sign the paperwork promptly and do not argue with me. Everything will be outlined in great detail."

"You're forgetting a few things, Stevie. I wouldn't get so carried away with your demands," he snarled at me. "I have information that is worth a lot of money to the press."

I narrowed my focus at him. "Don't you dare threaten me, or my family. If you think I'm unaware of your wrongdoings, Brian, you're delusional. I can make this hell for you. Remember our privacy agreement? I'd read over it again before I did anything stupid if I were you. You'll get my half of your company as well as a lump sum of liquid assets. If you breathe a word about Kate to the media, if you for any reason attempt to keep me from Landon, Brad and Dylan, and if you attempt to prolong this process or make it any more difficult you will find yourself and your company up to your eyeballs in legal action. Do you understand me?" I didn't waiver.

He set his jaw, unable to vocalize a response, knowing he didn't have a leg to stand on. Eventually, when I didn't falter, he turned and left, slamming the door.

I remained where I stood, as though my feet had been nailed down. I'm certainly glad I gave off the impression of strength because after the evening I'd already had I felt like jello on the inside. Even though my voice had remained steady my hands were shaking and I wasn't really even sure of when that began. Eventually I heard a soft knock at the door and Lindsey peeked his head in, immediately stepping towards me as I forced myself to pull it together.

"You okay," he questioned. "What was that about?"

"I'm fine," I responded with a fake smile. "We can talk later, please just take me to Kate."

He nodded his agreement, opening the door and ushering me down the long hallway.

"You're sure everything's okay," he questioned again, looking me over, obviously not accepting my first answer. "I just don't want you to be mad at Kate." His concern was genuine, that much was obvious.

We stopped slightly before the door to his room, and I gently touched his shoulder to get his attention, running my hand down the length of his arm and entwining our fingers for a brief moment. "I'm not mad at Kate, Lindsey. I'm mad at Brian, I'm mad at you, and I'm furious with myself, but none of this is her fault. I'm just sick of being caught off guard tonight, alright?"

He opened his mouth to say something when I heard the knob of the door behind me turn and our conversation was interrupted by the tiniest little voice.

"PAPA!"

I turned to see the cutest little guy running straight into Lindsey's arms as fast as he could go. Lindsey reached down and wrapped him in a bear hug, still holding my hand tightly. When he picked him up as I saw the most genuine looks of adoration in both of their faces. As he turned to face me I was astounded at how much the little boy looked like Lindsey. My heart swelled and then shattered again. Kate has a little boy- I have a grand baby, and I didn't even know about him.