Open Wounds | Captain Swan

4. Protect Yourself

She noticed the light switch on through her eyelashes as she slowly started to wake up fully. She let out a long yawn and stretched her arms and legs out. Killian, who was sitting with his back against the headboard while playing a game on his phone, glanced at her. Normally he would've laughed and kissed her, thinking it was adorable. But now it just made his heart ache as a lump formed in his throat.

No words were exchanged after their conversation-more like a fight-had occurred in the bathroom. They just ate delegate dinners and afterwards they headed to bed. Their backs were facing each other, but occasionally one of them would look over the shoulder and gaze at the other with a disappointed pair of eyes. Neither of them had found enough peace for a good night sleep, but eventually exhaustion overtook them both.

She cuddled into her blanket as she shivered. Even though it was August, that didn't mean it was warm all the time. Time past and eventually it became too hot for her to remain in bed. She unfolded herself from the blanket and climbed out of bed. She glanced at Killian, but he ignored her eyes and kept his concentration on his phone.

As she walked towards the bathroom for a nice and warm shower, she felt her cold muscles slowly waking up as she became more flexible. She pushed the door open and locked it behind her. She turned on the water. She wasn't a fan of warm showers, she usually took them quite cold-per other people. She grabbed a towel from the cupboard and placed it in the sink. She stripped herself from her clothes and stepped under the shower.

The shower didn't take too long. She hated that, she considered it as a waste of precious time. So, a little over five minutes later, she shut off the water and wrapped the fluffy, body length towel around her shivering body.

After she got dressed and did her hair, she pushed the door open and exited the room. She sighed as she found him in the same position, they really needed to talk.

"Killian?" She questioned, walking up to his bed, but he kept ignoring her coldly. "We need to talk abou-"

"Do you have any idea how it feels?" He asked harshly as he shot up. Their faces were only inches apart as they stared into each other's eyes. "To hear that the love of your life is dead?!"

"I know exactly how it feels! All my life everyone I loved abandoned me!" She yelled.

"I didn't abandon you." He said, his voice much more calm than before, but the anger was boiling up from the inside.

"I know, but I was raped by y-" She quickly corrected herself, she couldn't tell him the truth, not now. "By my stepdad. When I'm scared, my walls go up, that's when I stop trusting the people around me. Killian, you know this!" She yelled desperately for him to forgive her. She needed a hug from him, or at least a reassurance that it was going to be okay.

"That doesn't make it fair, Swan!" He told her before disappearing into the bathroom.

Tears slipped out of her eyes as she sunk to the ground. She grabbed the first object she could find, which happened to be his pillow and sobbed into it. How where they ever going to be normal again?

*Two Weeks Later*

Classes had started one week ago, but Emma and Killian hadn't exchanged a lot of words, and if they did, it was only insulting, yelled words. Meanwhile everyone has discovered about Emma stunt and that she was very much alive.

The air was always chilly, no matter how far they turned up the heat, how many blankets they wrapped around their bodies. And neither of them would ever allow that cheeky smile they both had appear on their face.

She unlocked the door after a long day of boring classes, she couldn't seem to find enough motivation to do stuff anymore, not with Killian being furious at her.

She sighed, feeling the tears gather behind her eyes when she saw him on the couch. A bottle of rum in front of him, dark circles under his eyes and you could clearly see he had being crying.

"Are we really not going to talk anymore?" She asked, sitting on the coffee table as she moved the rum away.

"What's there you talk about?" He replied, not even daring to look up to her, just keeping his eyes focused on the floor.

"Killian," She took his hands in hers and secured his eyes to gaze into hers. "I still love you, I want things to work between us. I want you, but only if you'll still have me though." She could see him thinking, even though he did his best to avoid her eyes.

"We'd already have each other if it weren't for those walls." He snapped, yanking away his hands as he stood up and walked away from her.

"If you can't handle my walls then maybe I shouldn't be here!" She yelled at him.

He turned around and rushed up to her until their faces were only inches apart, both breathing heavily. She glanced at his lips, hoping he didn't notice. But he did, he just didn't care. "I can handle them, Love. I can handle a lot. I will wait a thousand years to kiss you, tell you I love you, hold you, but please don't stop talking to me. I need you to talk to me because I can't bear the fact that your hurt and I have no clue what's going on! I love you too much to let you go through it all alone."

She stepped closer, moving her hand to his cheek. "If you love me so much, then why can't we try this again." She studied his eyes, that were now focused on her lips. But this time it was her who decided to torture him.

"Because I need to look out for myself too. I'm done with people always letting me down. I know you will never be able to trust me completely, talk to me without me needing to give you that extra push." Deep down he knew it was one of biggest lies he had ever told. He did believe in her, he knew she would eventually tell him everything without him even asking. He just couldn't risk himself getting hurt even more, he wasn't sure he could handle that. He needed to protect himself.

A tear slipped out of her eye and ran down her cheek as she released him, backing away until she arrived at the bathroom and disappeared through the door.

When she finally stopped crying, and had gathered herself together enough to show herself, she unlocked the bathroom door to find Killian and Belle on the couch.

"Hey, Belle," She tried to sound happy, but she could see none of them bought it. "What are you doing here?" She asked, grabbing a glass, and filling it with water.

"I asked her to come over, so we could talk." Killian answered before Belle could.

She nodded, glancing at the clock as she took a sip of the cold water. "How about I go get some take out and let you two talk in peace?" She suggested.

"Thank you, Emma," Belle semi-smiled. "That means a lot." Emma grabbed her red leather jacket and purse before exiting the room.

"Thank you for today." Killian whispered once they finished their talk, bringing his hand up to her cheek and carefully caressing it. "Sometimes I really need a friend to talk to."

"It's not a problem, Killian." Belle replied, examining his ocean eyes in a way she had never done before. "That's what friends are for." He nodded in agreement, offering her a semi-smile, but a meaningful one. "And don't worry about you and Emma, I have a good feeling about you two. Believe me, if I can get a happy ending, anyone can." He nodded as a promise to her that he would think about it.

Although they both had just referred to the other as friends, they couldn't prevent what happened next. Their faces slowly moved closer, they could feel the others breath on their skin. Eventually their lips met and both closed their eyes, cherishing this moment. Something they shouldn't be doing.

Belle had been dying to taste his seductive lips ever since they met, but she knew he was out of her league. So, she gave up on the hope, but she never expected to feel them years later. She had to admit, he was a good kisser.

And that's when Emma walked through the door...