Open Wounds | Captain Swan

35. You Lean On Me

[Just to clarify things a bit for you so this chapter makes more sense: Emma is still wearing her engagement ring. Oh and you might wanna get tissues and some chocolate out😉]

WRITER'S POV

"Killian, we have to talk." She said once he arrived back in the living room and had handed her her plate.

"Of course, what do you wanna talk about?" He questioned, plopping down next to her, and taking a bite of the grilled cheese he had prepared for himself, completely unaware that the subject could potentially be bad.

"Well," She started, but trailed off immediately. She began to wonder if this was the right decision and debated whether she should proceed with telling him or just come up with a lie, but it only took her a couple of seconds to realize he would know she wasn't being entirely forthright. "Why didn't you tell me Albert was still alive?" She blurted out, unintentionally. She would've preferred to tell him in a subtler way, but obviously her clumsiness had to take control again.

This was clearly not what he had been anticipating. He had almost dropped his plate into the floor, barely managing to catch it as his mind was evidently still processing the information she had delivered to him.

"Emma, let me explain." He said very quickly, attempting to prevent the situation from escalating, but could see the determination in Emma's eyes. She wasn't ready to let this go so easily.

"No," She immediately stood up when he scooted closer, holding her hands up to warn him, to quietly tell him he needed to keep his distance. "It seems very clear to me." She added when he stood up, blocking her path, but he had comprehended her caution and made sure to maintain a benign distance between their fronts.

"I swear to you I wanted to tell you, I tried, but you were just so happy and I couldn't bear to ruin that happiness." He knew it didn't count as a real excuse for withholding the truth from her for about two years, but it was honest and he figured that was what she wished to have now; honesty.

"No, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was ashamed, Emma." He was trying not to mortify himself by restraining his despair, but he knew the trace of desperation in his eyes was growing with every fraction of each second. And her facial expressions implied that she was aware of it, too. "And scared, scared of losing you and everything that matters to me."

"You really think that would happen after everything we've been through?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest as he felt like her eyes alone were already intimidating him more than he could handle.

The atmosphere contained more stress than it ever had and the amount of tension between the couple was more noticeable than it had ever been. It was unbearable for both of them.

"You tell me. How am I supposed to sit across from you and our future children at the table and look you in the eye knowing I couldn't protect you?" He was on the verge of crying, there had been more than enough hints in his voice and ocean eyes. She knew it, he knew it. She wished she could take away his pain, but perhaps this was a storm they couldn't outrun.

"I'm not saying that it would be easy," She was almost positive she looked as red as a tomato because she felt her blood boil inside the pit of her stomach. And in that moment, she realized she was on the edge of falling apart and this time he wouldn't be there to gather her broken pieces. "But I would've forgiven you, Killian. That's who I am."

"This isn't just about you, it's about me." He was obviously wearing clothes, but that didn't stop him from feeling as though he was naked. He wasn't entirely sure whether it was due to the icy atmosphere, the fact that he was exposing himself by telling her exactly how he felt or the fire in her eyes that was figuratively burning his attire. "I already let that man destroy you and your family once, and that was hard enough but knowing that he would do it again. I just- I didn't know how I could live with that."