Open Wounds | Captain Swan

33. Leaping into Home

"Please tell me you see his name on that screen too and it's not just my mind tricking me." I narrowed my eyes to help my brain focus on the screen, trying to determine whether I was right or not before my sister could even provide me with an answer.

Nothing seemed to make sense as my thoughts were scattered all over the place, which, if you consider that I was convinced my newlywed husband was dead, wasn't entirely odd.

"If you're referring to your fiancé, then yes." Admittedly, I was a little offended by her comment, but I managed to push my feelings aside, mainly because I needed my mind to be as unoccupied as possible if I wanted to focus on the current situation.

"Husband." I corrected her, not bothering to draw my eyes away from her phone, which was still transmitting a sound that indicated someone was still calling her and it was in that exact moment that I realized we had to take action if we wanted to prevent the device from sending him to voicemail.

"What? When?" She asked frantically, visibly attempting to conceal her excitement, but the semi-small that crept up on her face was enough for me to figure out she was overwhelmed with agitation.

"Doesn't matter, just pick it up before you miss the call!" I yelled as my mind drifted to him. I could easily imagine him pacing around, desperately needing to hear a familiar voice and probably terrified as well. It was torture to know he felt like that.

"I'm going!" She shouted back, leaning over to grab her phone, but making sure to answer his call first before actually picking up her phone in order to be certain she wasn't too late.

"Killian?" I could see her eyes on me out of the corner of my eyes, but my eyes were fixed on the phone itself.

It felt as though I was paralyzed, like my brain had cut off all communication between my muscles and my mind, which also meant I wasn't capable of registering anything properly. It was more disturbing than you could ever imagine, the fact that I could quietly hear Killian's voice on the other end of the line was the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Jen had noticed my staring and discomfort, so she had put the phone on speaker before Killian could answer her. "Jen, is that you?" My heart momentarily stopped beating when I heard his voice. He was clearly far from calm, but at least he didn't imply that he was in pain, and that was all the encouragement I needed to steady myself.

"I tried to call Emma about a hundred times." I couldn't help but chuckle, of course he would do that. It's just who he is.

"But she didn't pick up." He stopped talking and I could almost hear his brain crack because of all the thinking he was undergoing. "Is she there with you?" He must've heard me chuckle and recognize it instantly. "Cause I'm pretty sure I just heard her incredibly cute chuckle. Could you just give her the phone, please?"

Jen shoved the phone in my hands and I held it to my ear before my mind could alter its state so I could adapt to the new situation.

"Hey." Was all I could manage to produce right now, knowing that if I tried to speak more the sentence would be incoherent anyway.

"Hey, beautiful." He sounded broken, and it was unnecessary for me to actually see him to know he was on the verge of crying, but all I could wonder was what he had done to him because I had only heard him like this once; when I had returned to him after playing dead for over a year. And all the factors added together was more than enough for me to let the tears slip out of my eyes.

It remained silent. I wasn't sure whether it was an enjoyable one though as I was contemplating about what I should say next. I didn't want to ask him if he was okay, or how he was because he was clearly not. But my brain seemed to have a lack of inspiration because every time I searched for options all I found was emptiness.

"Are you at the hospital?" He eventually asked and I could hear him scratch behind his ear like he usually did in an awkward situation. The idea of him being nervous around me made me feel nauseous; it wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"Yeah, but the doctor actually said I could go home after they had tested my blood to see if it was clean again." All I could think about was him and it surprised me that I had successfully replied to his question. My mind was so focused on him I could almost feel his hands on my skin, lips on my lips, and eyes locked on mine. It felt like he was within my reach, but each time I tried to grab him it was as if he was thousands of miles away and I couldn't seem to break the distance. It was the most painful ache I had ever experienced.

"Where are you?" I asked him, desperately seeking for answers as I had gotten to a certain point where my hands were trembling and all I wanted to do was firmly grip my hair, but that meant losing every single connection I still had to him and that would be worse to endure.

"I'm at the police station. They found Albert and-" I heard a low, unfamiliar voice shouting in the background, instantly worrying me. "Look, I have to go, but I'll meet you at our house in an hour, okay?"

"Okay." I simply replied. I had briefly debated whether I should say goodbye or not, but had eventually decided against it because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him again.

"I love you." And without a warning he hung up the phone and his soothing voice was replaced with diverse beeps.

"I love you, too." I replied quietly before I slowly lowered my hand until they phone made contact with the sheets and I let it go. My body felt fragile and I was afraid that if the shaking of my hands didn't end soon my entire body would break into a million shards. And it was in that exact moment that I realized I was on the edge of having a panic attack.

I only had one small one before, it had occurred about three weeks ago. It wasn't bad enough to become life threatening, but it was enough to be noticeable. I had a feeling this time was going to be completely different.

<<<

It was exactly one hour later when we pulled up at our house. I had kept track of the time because it was the only comprehendible thing right now, the only thing preventing me from breaking down.

Jen had given Colin a call to tell him he had to meet us at my house and bring the dogs, which they had apparently taken care of. I could already see his car in our driveway when we arrived and Ghost immediately started barking loud enough for us to hear him from inside the car as Dragon waggled his tail excitedly. Ghost had always been a bold dog as Dragon was slightly shy, they balanced each other out perfectly. But when it depended on it both dogs would protect their humans.

"Hey, girl." I laughed at Dragon, who immediately jumped on me as Ghost went over to Jen to inspect her, but he soon became bored whilst doing that and moved on to me. As I was surrounded by two members of our little family, which would expand rather sooner than later, I felt my nauseous wear off a little.

"Be careful, girl, mommy has another baby in her tummy." I told her, not even realizing that Jen and Colin could hear us and completely unaware of the fact that we hadn't told them yet.

"Baby? You're pregnant?" Jen gasped, but before the situation could develop any further the sound of rubber wheels sliding over the gravel on our driveway entered my ears.

I felt a breath catch in my chest as I twirled around swiftly. It was his truck and the sight of his face through the windshield made tears prick behind my eyes instantly.

Without thinking twice, I dropped everything and ran over to him, leaping into his embrace. It must've been the exhaustion that had weakened him because he couldn't seem to withstand the amount of force I used, stumbling back until we fell back into truck. As his back collided with the brown cushion and I lay on top of him I truly knew I was safely home again.

[I haven't updated in forever, but I've been studying my arse off to get past these finals. And add to that, that there have been quite some problems within my family lately. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, maybe tell me what you think? X]