Open Wounds | Captain Swan

34. I Want to Cuddle With You

I had absolutely no control over what was happening. The salty tears just kept pouring out of my eyes as the liquid soaked his shirt completely. When we landed on the couch diverse giggles had escaped my throat, but they soon grew into sobs as it dawned on me how much I had missed him.

"Hey," He whispered when I removed my head from the crook of his neck and my eyes connected with mine. I had missed his radiant eyes, even if it sometimes felt like he was going to drill a hole in my head.

"Hi," I replied, my right hand traveling to the nape of his neck to twist his hair around my fingertips as the other helped him sit up along with me.

I opened my mouth to overload him with at least a ton of questions, but he must've figured out my intentions because he pressed his lips against mine with a small amount of force. I needed more than what he was giving me, but the minor gesture was already over before I had even proceeded with kissing him back.

"Swan, I'll be happy to inform you about everything that has happened after you had left, but let's do that inside, shall we?" He proposed, clearly aware of the effect he had on me by leaving my lips too soon for me to handle. Well, that's the conclusion I drew from seeing the dopey grin plastered on his face features.

"Okay, but it kind of is Jones now." I reminded him, holding up my hand as the small piece of straw he had tied around my finger so it could serve as a temporary ring – I could only hope he hadn't changed his mind – reflected the incoming sunlight.

Of course I immediately knew something was bothering him when I detected his uncomfortable shifting and fidgeting with the "ring". I desperately tried to act as casual as possible, not wanting to startle him, but I couldn't seem to focus on anything but his finger. The one that happened to have a straw wrapped around it.

"Swan, don't worry, I still intend to officially marry you when this is all over." He assured me, but all I could do was look down in shame. I hadn't planned for it to happen, nor wanted it, but it had. And I couldn't stop beating myself up for it.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that– I don't know, I just assum– " I struggled to find the appropriate words. I had never been an expert at uttering my feelings and it didn't help that most people didn't have the patience to listen.

"I just really thought I wasn't going to see you again." He clarified as I still couldn't meet his eyes, mainly because was still feeling major guilt about not having faith in our future, but also partly because images of his hurtful face from those horrifying moments, in which we had to say goodbye again were flooding my mind.

"And it was okay that I was going to die because I got to be your husband, even if it was only a short fraction of a day." I felt my stomach twist slightly when he mentioned being my husband; after three years of being engaged the idea of marrying him still hadn't dawned on me completely.

"Let's just go inside, okay?" I suggested, finally daring to connect my eyes with his and not being surprised at all when I found pure admiration for me inside his bright eyes.

"I've been craving some real food, our couch, sleep and you for far too long now." I said, not aware of how what I had just told him sounded as he helped me get out of the truck.

"Me, huh?" He teased, elevating one of his thick eyebrows before he leaned down to brush his nose against mine swiftly.

"Shush." I giggled, locking his hand between my two hands as I leaned my temple on his shoulder and we proceeded to walk towards our house.

As soon as Killian was within Ghost's sight the three year old dog sprinted over to him and literally jumped on him, resting his paws on Killian's abdomen as he barked loudly.

I rested my chin on the edge of his shoulder, allowing him to plant a kiss on the top of my head before kneeling and patting the overexcited dogs as I walked over to my sister.

"As much as I would love to hear an explanation from you guys, I don't think either of you is capable of that right now." Jen said, stepping forward and hugging me tightly.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, too. "Thank you. We'll call you tomorrow, I promise."

We released each other and Colin offered me a meaningful smile before they walked back to their car and drove off of our property.

Killian walked towards me, our dogs following closely behind. I immediately fetched his hand and interlaced our fingers; the lack of contact we had been having the last two weeks was simply something I couldn't endure anymore.

I grabbed the keys from his back pocket since he was too preoccupied with entertaining Ghost and Dragon. I couldn't help the smile that instantly appeared on my face as I watched them play and it was also a reminder of the fact that there was growing a tiny human inside me.

I shrugged and pushed my thoughts away, I could worry about that later. I removed my attention from my lover to the door and managed to unlock it without getting distracted by his giggles.

The dogs slipped past us and ran into their home before I could enter the house, apparently having zero concentration as they seemed to have already forgotten about their owners and were now busy fighting over a toy.

We walked inside the house. He walked over to the kitchen and set the bag that contained vitamins I had to take due to my pregnancy as I plopped down on the couch, only realizing a dramatic sigh had fled my mouth when Killian started laughing at me.

"Come here, please. I want to cuddle with you." I begged as my body was aching for him. I just hoped it wasn't too obvious to him.

"As you wish." He chuckled and started walking into my direction, grabbing the brown fluffy blanket we always used to keep us warm during cold winter nights whilst watching a show or movie. And I was certain it would have mascara stains all over it soon because I was already an emotional wreck when it came to sad movies, these pregnancy hormones would only worsen my emotions.

He lied down next to me after kicking of his shoes and taking off mine before he pulled the blanket over us and wrapped his arms around my waist. I snuggled my head into his neck as far as I could as I finally allowed my eyes to close.

Having him here, holding me after I thought I had lost him still felt surreal and I knew it would take time to adjust, but for now, all I wanted to do was sleep.

He started to explain what had happened between him and Albert and I honestly couldn't begin to complain about it. His voice seemed to soothe me. I wasn't capable of fully registering what he was saying, but it was enough to vaguely understand what had happened.

The next thing I remember is waking up in his arms with my leg draped across his legs. I yawned and heard him chuckle next to me. I looked up to find him staring at me and out of the corner of my eye I could see our dogs napping in their beds.

He pressed a feather kiss to the top of my head as he climbed off the couch and walked over to the kitchen. He opened serval cupboards and turned on the stove and I quickly figured out he was making me some grilled cheese. I smiled as I watched him cook.

As I slowly started to wake up and my eyes began to adapt to my surroundings I woolly started to remember his story about Albert, but I wished I hadn't yet because it made me realize we still had a confrontation to pass.

"Killian, we have to talk." I said once he arrived back in the living room and had handed me my plate.

[Guess whose exams are over?! My grades are good enough to go to the next year so I'll be free for the upcoming eight weeks, which means I can finally finish this book!! Until then, enjoy this little gift from me to you and maybe tell me what you thought of it? X]