WRITERS BLOCK

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And in that moment I saw the life leave her beautiful eyes even though she was not dead.

I realized what I had done, how much damage I had inflicted upon her and I did not regret a thing. She may have once been my ally, my best friend, my partner, my lover, but now she was nothing. Her countless apologies meant nothing in my eyes. She could not make up for the pain she caused me and everyone else. So this was my payback. My revenge. I may miss the past, but I wouldnt go back for anything now that I know how she really is.
My love is a grenade. She waits, patient as ever for you to get close and then explodes right in your face. She has the power to convince everyone, including herself, that she can love, that she can be something new, but she is incapable. I think that that is the worst part about it. She honestly didn't know what she was doing. She truly thought she was doing good, a favor. And the moment she realized what she had done, I saw the regret on her face. But she should have known. She should have realized what her actions would cause.
None of it matters now. Our relationship is over. I had killed it the moment she came running out of that tunnel on that cold, foggy night. She was crushed then and she is crushed now. There is no going back. There is no rewriting this love story because this is how it ends.
And now, staring at her lifeless eyes, I regret nothing. I do not take back a thing I said or an act I did. she is ruined, wasted, used. She is nothing, just like me.
But as I walk away, I hear her whisper the faintest of apologies. The only one that would make me stop came out of her pink lips.

"I love you."

Frozen in fear. Stuck in cloudy emotions, I turn around for one last look. My stance is stiff. My eyes are hard. My fists are clenched and I cannot move forward or back. she cannot undo what has already happened. It is impossible.
She stands up from where she had fallen from pain. She moves closer to me and that is when I'm able to step back.

"You know why I had to do it." I yell at her and she flinches.

Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. This time of decision. This moment where everything will change.
She can either forgive me and I have the choice. Or she can curse me, which will let me go unscathed.

"I do." She says softly, and I almost fall.

It's up to me now. Everything I have promised myself comes rushing back, but I see her and it all goes away. I cannot do this on my own. I can't beat this enemy without her.
But she murdered my little sister.
And I murdered her father.
Now we are both even.
But can things go back to the way they were before?