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She had trust issues. And it ruined every relationship she had.

She couldn't help herself. It was the way her mind worked. She was perfectly fine, perfectly capable of being normal. It wasn't a scary word to her before she met him. The way he treated her, like she was something precious, made her feel wanted. But since she had been so utterly disappointed, so desperately forgotten in the past, she didn't believe a single word that came out of his mouth anymore. They were not that far into what they had, but she was to far to be able to pull herself out. She couldn't do it on her own, nor did she want to. But every little thing made her jump. Every bump terrified her. And the silence was deafening. She overreacted. She created fantasies in her mind that made no sense. She twisted everything so that it was far from the truth. But in her mind it was. When she got to a certain point, it was no longer "what if", it was "when". When she gave a little away; her memories, feelings, or even her wishes, she was vulnerable. Her past made her delicately sensitive and she hated it. She had trust issues, and it ruined every relationship she had. It wasn't that she thought he was cheating on her. It was just the aching feeling that it wasn't real. That this whole thing was a joke. He didn't know what he got himself into. He wanted to back out, but he was too afraid. She acted differently. Normal was now foreign to her. She was being driven mad and all she could do is watch herself go off the cliff. All she could do was try not to fall in love. Because every time she loved, she lost. Every time she trusted, she was bitterly let down. But this would eventually catch up to her. This would be her downfall. Her breakdowns would make it so she could never keep a relationship going. She had to break her stronghold to get there. She had to fight to get the voices out of her head, to not go back to her dark place. To trust him. To trust God.