Separated: 5SOS BSM

61. You Have An Asthma/Anxiety Attack And The Other Boys Help You- Calum

I DIDN'T PUBLISH IT ON PURPOSE THAT TIME! SORRY!

Part 2/4 - FIRST UPDATE OF 2017!!!

I just now realized I did these out of order?! Oh well Ashton Calum or Calum Ashton... same thing right?

I need to change the cover of this book at some point- it's so old 😅

...
Requested by:
@drawphilnaked

*WARNINGS*
Mentions of:
• Anxiety Attacks
...

Calum:
Work work work. You were insanely anxious about your future and the unknown that went along with it. You were worried about getting into colleges, a job, and how in the heck taxes work.

So you worked yourself hard and long. You tried to do everything you possibly could to set you up for everything you wanted. This meant as many accelerated classes that you could fit in your daily schedule, three sports teams that you trained for year-round, and a several demanding clubs. With all of this stuff going on you practically lived at school, getting there early for meetings or morning practices, and then staying after for more practices and club meet ups. Your school days were often over twelve hours not counting any homework time. That was an extra three hours when you got home.

Breakfast no longer existed, lunch was gross cafeteria food, and Dinner became a distant memory as you instead would grab a protein bar or two if you were lucky. When you were done with your responsibilities for the day all you wanted to do was hop in the shower and then go to bed for a few hours before the process repeated.

It was exhausting and terribly stressful, you could feel it wearing at your resolve and health.

You began to crack, going the wrong places at the wrong times, being too late or too early, not performing well. Your grades began to slip so you tried to study more, but the only place you could take time from was sleeping. So it got to the point where you were barely getting the minimum required amount of sleep to survive. 

That's just what you were doing, barely surviving. Your anxiety ruled over you, and everything you said or did.

Once you left your history textbook in your gym locker on accident, but at the time couldn't remember where it was. When you sat down in history class and you realized your book wasn't in your backpack you remember panicking, your heart pounding and you began to hyperventilate. This episode was the first, but you were able to calm yourself down quickly and borrow a book from a friend.

You didn't know what was happening, in many ways it felt like you were dying. You were constantly on edge, and when things didn't go exactly as you wanted your anxiety would explode into an intense attack. Your chest would hurt, you would sweat and tremble uncontrollably, it felt like you couldn't breathe, and the room would spin.

You knew something was definitely going on, but you didn't know how to deal with it. So you didn't. You hid your symptoms and attacks, ducking into bathrooms and secluded areas until they passed. You were altogether unwilling to tell Calum, you didn't want him to think you were crazy, and you didn't want whatever it was to interfere with the future you were working so hard for.

So you suffered in silence, everything got worse and worse. It was only a matter of time before somebody noticed.

It happened when Calum dragged you out to a party.