Separated: 5SOS BSM

72. You Have Cancer - Ashton

Part 2/4

...
Requested by:
@kuarmaslover123

*TW*
• Cancer
...

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I REALLY DON'T LIKE? WHEN I'M READING A WATTPAD BOOK AND FINISH A CHAPTER AND AS I FLICK THROUGH TO GET TO THE NEXT PART I'M CONFRONTED WITH 'A Cure For Wellness' AD! THAT NAKED LADY IN A BATHTUB OF EELS/BIG ASS LEECHES SCARED THE BEJEEBERS OUT OF ME!

Ashton:  
Sometimes routine tests had less than routine results. Sometimes things take a turn for the worst. Sometimes remission doesn't last forever. It's always shocking to hear.

"Y/N, look at me," your mother sighed, rubbing up and down you back.

You tried to shake off the shock of the news your doctor just gave you, but all that did was make room for dread. Everything had just come back together. Your hair had grown all the way back, you were in shape again, you were back in school, and Ashton was home. Why did it all have to fall apart now?

You gulped, looking in her eyes like she had requested. With a comforting smile she held you close, "it'll all be okay, you've done it once, you can do it again."

You broke down. You had done it once, but that didn't mean anything. You had been miserable and had nearly died several times the last time, you didn't want it again.

"It's in your bones this time, but we caught it early, hopefully with an aggressive treatment we can work towar..."

You tuned out your doctor as she talked about the inevitable, "treatments." Radiation, drugs, and pain. All for what? So that you could go back into remission and then have to do it all over again in another two years? Did you want all of that? Did you have a choice?

You thought about what you had gone through last time. You were always tired, could barely hold down food, and was constantly covered in random bruises. All of that was from the chemo, and now they wanted you to do it again. To "save your life" only you weren't sure you wanted saving. You didn't really know if you wanted to go through all of that pain and suffering over and over and over again. Maybe it'd just be better to let the disease run its course. Maybe it'd be better to just die, end your pain, and your suffering.

You didn't tell your mother or the doctor yet, you just numbly nodded through the meeting while they chattered on about schedules, insurance, and what your chances were with various treatments. The doctor seemed mildly optimistic, and you knew that your mother would fight for every second of your miserable life.

You couldn't be more relived when the meeting was over and the two of you walked out of the doctors office.

"Wow," she murmured as the two of you stepped out into the open air, "that was a lot."

"Mhm," you were numb, and probably in shock. You had no doubt that she was too, but unlike you she snapped out of it quickly. She tucked the manila folder full of your schedules, test results, and treatments under her arm, and pulled out her phone.

"I'm going to call Ashton," she said to you as you climbed in the passengers seat.

You frowned, no doubt that he'd be devastated, probably more than you. You'd already given up, but Ashton always had hope even in the worst situations. You knew how dangerous hope could be for a cancer kid so you'd left it behind a long time ago. Ashton didn't seem to understand why he didn't understand the danger your life was constantly in, that statistically the odds weren't in your favor. That he should give up too.