The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 3 - Trust

"Do you have your folders? Pens? Packing up?" fussed her mother, holding a mug of coffee in one hand and playing with Jane's curls with the other. Jane groaned loudly, slapping her hands away.

"Mum, stop" she stressed, "I'm fine. I've got everything"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to be halfway down the road and realise you've forgotten something" her mother nagged, taking a step back to observe her daughter.

Kate Parkinson, much like her child, had blonde hair; long, strict and wavy with brown highlights. Her eyes, green like ferns and her skin tanned like desert sand. Her mother worked in a call centre, out of practicality than necessity. Her iron pressed skirt clung to her in all the right places; flattering her curves and high stature. Her white shirt hung loosely from her body, showing a hint of what lay underneath but not enough to draw attention.

Jane looked in the mirror and ran a quick hand through the strands of hair her mother had messed up. She'd had four months of babying. She wasn't going to allow a fifth. It was September 12th. Her first day of college and she was nervous. She was going into a new learning environment, with new and unknown people. Jane didn't know what to expect. In high school, she’d always been in a class with people she knew. But now, with Alfie and Danielle doing their own classes separate from her, she was alone and wary of everyone.

"Okay" she smiled, finally liking the reflection in the mirror. Against the navy of her shirt, her blonde hair glowed and her blue eyes lit up. Her jeggings hugged to her comfortably, revealing her thin but muscled legs. Her black ankle boots added a bit of height to her silly 5'5.

I will be fine, she told herself; taking in a deep breath and releasing, realising her mother was still watching her.

"You'll be fine" Kate assured her, although Jane felt it was more for her peace of mind than hers, "Make lots of new friends"

"I'll try" she yawned and swinging her brown satchel over her shoulder. Kate went to speak, but thought better of it and remained silent. Jane felt her heart plummet at the sparkle in her mother's eye. She knew she'd heard her screaming earlier. Kate was a light sleeper and the slightest creak startled her. Jane couldn't conceal her terror, yet alone hide the dark circles forming under her eyes like bruises. Her father had grown tired of her childish fears and often enough left her to the shadows. But her mum, she was concerned enough for them both.

Jane drew in a shaky breath and walked forward to hug her mother tightly. Kate responded, rubbing her daughter's back affectionately and surrounding her with scents of rose and Chloe perfume.

"Come straight home" her mother said softly. Jane nodded against her shoulder and pecked her cheek.

"I will" she promised, "I love you"

---

Jane was surprised, when she opened the door to see Alfie waiting outside; leaning against his blue Nissan Micra with a smile across his face. His arms crossed over his blue polo shirt. He almost blended in with the colour of his two year old car. 

She beamed as she half walked, half skipped down the path towards him; letting his strong hands catch her by her waist and draw her in.

"Hey" Jane sung, kissing his lips fondly, "I didn't expect to see you, until I got to college"

"I wanted to surprise you" he replied with a cheeky undertone, "Besides, your mum asked me to take you"

"Did she now?" snapped Jane, looking back towards the house to see her mum watching from the window. In an instant, her anger faded; seeing her mother smiling and waving at the pair of them. Her mum adored Alfie. He was already part of the family, even if they'd only been together for four months. Quickly, she nodded her thanks to Alfie, before moving away from sight.

Alfie sighed, "She worries about you, you know?"

Jane nodded, playing with his shirt buttons absentmindedly. Alfie, pleading for her attention squeezed her sides gently. After a mental shake, she looked up at him and forced a smile.

"I'm fine" she insisted with a pat on his chest, "Really I am"

Alfie pressed his lips together for long moment, "Jane, you would tell me if something was wrong... wouldn't you? I mean, you do trust me?"

Jane's heart twisted, as did her grip around Alfie's collar. She loved him with all her heart. And she did trust him, perhaps more than anyone else. But, as much as it pained her to admit it, Jane didn't trust him with her secret. She knew how protective he was of her, more so after the attack. If he knew...he would only seek revenge. And enacting punishment never changed anything.

Alfie was kind, witty, charming and well mannered. Never violent. And this secret...it would change him. Jane couldn't do that to him. She couldn't ruin him.

So, tilting her head up and meeting his gaze she smiled and let the lies roll off her tongue, as if it was second nature, "There's nothing wrong, I promise"

"But you do trust me?"

"Of course I do" she exclaimed, "What kind of girlfriend would I be, if I didn't?"

"A pretty rotten one" he laughed, taking her face in his hands and kissing her until his chest felt close to blasting.

Although heavy, Jane's heart burned within her chest. Not from pain, but with complete happiness. Alfie had been her rock in those first few weeks after her discharge from hospital. Overnight, the world became a place of horror and danger. Jane found no courage to leave the house, yet alone her own room. And so, when she couldn't come to him, Alfie went to her; bringing with him piles of DVDs she'd never watched and with the curtains drawn, they would have day long marathons. 

They watched all the Star Wars movies, the Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, whole box sets of television shows and old comedy stretches from Lee Evans and Michael McIntyre. These marathons gave her reason to smile and laugh and enjoy life again. Or maybe it was just Alfie.

Where her parents had failed, it was he who encouraged her first steps back into the world. He'd invited her to a barbeque with his family. He spoke of how excited they all were to meet her and teased her, saying they'd be cooking her favourite: sweet chilli chicken on a stick. But it was his promise, to never leave her side, which won her over. And he kept it. Throughout that one day and every day that followed.

Jane pulled back, gasping for breath and laughing at the blush now rising in Alfie's cheeks.

"Come on" she urged softly, "We're gonna be late"