The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 1 - Prologue

A/N: Now before I begin, I just want to warn all readers that this story, and the issue involved, is one that I hold close to my heart. It really sickens me that this should happen to anyone - boy or girl, young or old - and the point I'm trying to get across is that victims, like Jane, should not have to live in fear and should not be objectified by threats and intimidation.

You have been warned, so I don't expect to see any bashing or abusive comments, they will be deleted. As this story is in its first draft, I accept all kinds of feedback, just as long as it is constructive. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. x

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Jane woke to the sound of birds chirping and a heart monitor beeping. As her blurred vision cleared, she found herself in a white room with bright lights. Too bright, she looked away; her eyes stringing. To her left, was the window. Black birds flew past a morning sun. The clouds blood red and unforgiving. Jane turned away, shuddering and swallowing the pain down. Taking a deep breath, she glanced to her right to see a boy sleeping in the visitors' armchair; dark circles and worry lines had appeared on his face overnight. His dark hair was scruffy and untidy from unwashed nights and his tanned forehead shone. Jane smiled. Alfie had never looked more handsome.

She swallowed hard, feeling both guilt and an overwhelming need for him. How long had he remained by her side? How many hours had he sat there, watching and waiting for her wake up? Jane's lip quivered, her eyes pricking again. She didn't deserve him. She knew that now. It was obvious to everyone, but her. It took this, her being in hospital to realise that. Jane gasped on a sob; bringing a bruised hand to her face and crying quietly. Alfie stirred, his head slipping away from his hand. He jerked awake and looked towards Jane. Her long blonde hair, pulled to one side, was dark and greasy. Her skin, ghostly white with a dozen patches of black and blue scattered up and down her arms. She was awake. And in pain.

He dashed forward, his hands grasping hers and stroking her wet cheek.

"Jane" he sighed, "Jane, are you in pain? Do you want me to get a nurse?"

She shook her head, "No, no I'm fine"

He let out a long, shaky breath and settled down beside her on the bed. His brown eyes never leaving her face. Jane smiled; her heart feeling heavy but beating as fast as a hummingbird. And the heart monitor caught very beat. Alfie looked at it and chuckled, as he brought Jane's hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly.

"Alfie" Jane sighed, "I'm okay"

He shook his head quickly, "No, you're not. You've got a broken ankle, cuts, bruises, bite marks...you've- you've lost blood. How on earth can you be okay?"

"Must be the drugs" she said, her smile falling short at Alfie's distress. He was suffering for something that happened to her. Something, to her agony, she allowed to happen. He shouldn't be feeling guilt or blame. It's my fault, Jane chanted in her head, mine, not yours!

She swallowed hard, before speaking "Where's e-everyone else?"

"Danni is in the waiting room with your parents. Everyone has gone home" he informed her, "Do you want me to get them?"

"Later" she whispered, her hand tightening around Alfies, "I just want you"

Alfie beamed, as he leaned forward and pressed a long, warm kiss on her forehead. Jane breathed in the scents of pine, grass and smoke. They'd been camping for the weekend. Arbel Forest was gorgeous this time of year. As the Sun rose in the East, its rays of light and warmth shone through the creaks and gaps of the giant trees. Ferns and leaves flushed a brighter shade of green, as the light descended upon them. Rabbits, deer and badgers darted through the foliage, escaping the eyes of passing humans and dangerous predators. Jane had caught sight of a whole herd of deer once. Their brown coats, with black stripes and white spots, looked clean and smooth from a distance. Their leader, the stag watched over them as they grazed hungrily. His dark eyes were wide open and fretting in all directions. Then a twig snapped under her feet and they sprinted away in haste and dust.

Jane sighed, turning her head up towards Alfie. He looked down at her; staring into her wide, blue eyes. She pouted her pinkish lips for a quick second, her gaze lingering on his longingly. Alfie descended slowly, wanting not to cause her anymore pain. His lips on hers, Jane shivered. How she had dreamed of this kiss for months. She'd imagined what it would feel like. Warm, above all, and safe. Slow and heated. Desperate, but hesitant.

They broke apart; their breaths uneven and their chests panting for breath. Beneath him, Alfie saw Jane's eyes shine and kissed her again quickly. Her hand latched upon his cheek lovingly. Pulling back, he looked deep into her face.

"I promise you, I won't let anything like this happen to you again" he vowed, his face hardened and determination appeared in every word.

A tear fell suddenly from Jane's eye, Alfie catching it as it left a trail down her swollen cheek. Against her will, her eyes grew heavy and with Alfie's touch reassuring her, Jane slept deeply and dreamless. As long as he was there, she would not remember. As long as he was there, she wouldn't see him again. She wouldn't feel powerless among leaves and dirt. She would be safe and warm in this bed, the boy she loved by her side; protecting her, guarding her against the shadows of her memory. Alfie's touch anchored her and kept her balanced. She was safe. Her secret was safe. But for how long? his voice whispered in her mind.