The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 12 - Normality

With a spring in her step, Jane crossed the threshold of her home and cried, “I’m home!”

“We’re in the kitchen!” replied her mother. A smile, as it had all afternoon, reappeared on Jane’s face, as she slipped out of her dolly shoes and headed for the kitchen. Lingering in the doorway, she found her parents sitting at the table; their own newspapers spread out in front of them. Two cups of coffee on the circular cork mat in the centre. Looking over at her father, Jane’s good mood dwindled into darkness. She hadn’t said a word to him since their argument.

“Hey” she said sheepishly. Kate looked up first and smiled, “Hey honey. How was college?”

“It was good” replied Jane with a genuine smile, surprising both herself and her mother. She’d enjoyed her morning class with Andrew more than she anticipated. Like Debbie, he was enthusiastic about his job and he took the time to build a rapport with his class. He made the lesson fun. He even got Becca, Holly and Tariq to talk and include her in their activities.

Then, come the afternoon she met her third and final tutor called Lynn. Out of the three, Lynn was the strictest. She had short, black hair with sharp green eyes and a leaning figure like Debbie. Teaching Literature History, Lynn was all about facts; set in stone, solid facts. Once students began participating Lynn, like her colleagues, relaxed and let the students’ views and knowledge set the flow of the lesson. Holly had taken up a seat next to Jane, when Lynn asked for pair work. She and Holly talked and compared ideas. In one afternoon, Jane found her own enthusiasm and interest in her course grow considerably.

Kate smile, after taking a swing of her coffee “I’m glad. You were always nervous about attending”

“It’s only been two days” Jane exclaimed with a grin, “I could still change my mind”

“I doubt that. If you didn’t like it, you would have left already”

“Maybe. Maybe not” teased Jane, shrugging her shoulders. Kate shook her head. Teenagers, she mused in delightful thought.

“Do you need help with any work?" asked Kate, turning a page of her paper. 

"We haven't got any yet" replied Jane, shaking her head, "The tutors are letting us find our feet first. Telling us what work we’ll be doing, that sort of thing”

“I’m sure they know what they’re doing” said Kate, casually looking over at her husband, who was studying his paper carefully. Too carefully, Jane noticed. The skin between his eyes was crinkled in concentrated thought, his mouth in a solid line of disinterest. Agitated, Kate reached under the table and kicked him harshly in the shin.

Robert yelped and glared at his wife, red faced. She glared back, with an old woman’s stare that would make children cower and stubborn husbands surrender to their will. She swung her head in Jane’s direction, urging him to talk to her. Robert frowned, returning to his paper. He hadn’t read one word, before Kate kicked him again. 

Suppressing a long winded sigh and a colourful word, Robert looked at his daughter and smiled, however hard and forced.

"So you're enjoying college?" he asked, sounding strained and casual. 

"Yeah, I am" Jane smiled, removing herself from the doorway and walking over to the table. However hesitant at first, Jane slowly made her way to her father; standing behind him and wrapping her arms around his chest, her chin resting on his shoulder.

Robert froze for a split second, wanting to stay angry and detached. He tried to remind himself of her bad attitude and her disrespect on his home and feelings. He had to remain strong and firm. He had to teach her a lesson. 

Almost sensing this, Jane whispered "I'm sorry" in his ear and squeezed him tighter. 

As a father, Robert felt his restraints collapse around him like broken glass. Jane was his daughter, his only child and with that, came the obligation to forgive her; regardless of her mistakes. It was the way for every parent. A way, Jane would soon realise when she had her own family. Robert sighed, yielding and patting Jane's hand in reassurance. 

"It's okay" he murmured, leaning his head against her cheek. Pleased by her work, Kate grinned down at her paper. Suddenly, she felt a hand fall on her thigh and squeeze. She looked up, taken back at her husband’s rare show of affection. Robert was smiling handsomely. His frown lines had faded and an air of calm surrounded the family. 

“How about I make dinner tonight?” Jane offered suddenly, kissing her father’s cheek before heading to the fridge and inspecting its contents of chilled vegetables, meats and drinks. 

Kate and Robert looked at each other, equally gobsmacked by her announcement. Often enough, it was Jane’s routine to return home from a day out or school and go immediately to her bedroom. She would put on her headphones and blast out her favourite tunes, while reading a book or screaming, when there was no one in the house. They only ever saw her at breakfast and dinner and even then, Jane never offered to make dinner. Not once. Not ever.

“How about a stir fry?” Jane suggested, showing up a bag of ready-made noodles and beansprouts. Kate stood, walking over to the cupboard where pasta mixes, stock cubes, jars of herbs and cooking ingredients rested, all packed in together tightly.

“I know we have some soy sauce in here somewhere” muttered Kate, carefully lifting the glass jars and scanning the labels.

“Honey, you put the soy sauce where the oil and rice is” called Robert, “It’s in the cupboard to your bottom right” 

Jane dashed forward, opening the cupboard and finding the half empty litre bottle of soy sauce standing in front. She smiled up at her mother, who stuck out her tongue childishly.

That evening, they became a normal family again. As her parents watched from the kitchen table, Jane prepared dinner all by herself. Like a different person, Jane told them all about her tutors. As she chopped up the baby corn, green peppers, cabbage and carrot, Jane told them about Holly and Becca and their conversations about poetry and general interests. As she cut the defrosted chicken thighs into strips and flew them into the oil based pan, Jane told them what facts she could remember from Lynn’s class.

With the chicken and vegetables sizzling away, Jane added the noodles last; knowing they would only take a few minutes to warm through. She splashed plenty of soy sauce into the mix, turning and rolling the ingredients so the taste wasn’t all in one place. Kate, her cheeks hurting from all the smiles, felt her eyes begin to string with emotion. The last four months had been hard on all of them, not just Jane. Both she and her husband had to endure Jane at the worst time, a time where she was too scared to go out by herself. Where she was too scared to speak. Where shadows and nightmares haunted her, both awake and sleep. Where screaming was the only way to release her terror.

Robert slipped his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly; reassuring her that she wasn’t alone, that he was here and here to stay. Kate smiled at him, her lips quivering as she struggled against the overwhelming happiness welling within her.

A clatter of plates caused Kate to look up. Jane, with three white bowls in her hands, returned to the stove and readied herself to serve up.

“Honey, do you want any help?” she asked, quickly dabbing her eyes in case of tears.

“No, I’m fine” Jane assured her, serving the first bowl to her father.  Half excited, half suspicious, Robert looked down at his meal; his senses overcome by the rich, burnt smell of soy sauce and peppers. He waited, until his wife and daughter had their meals in front of them, before tucking in. Anxious, Jane watched her parents take their first mouthfuls and waited for their verdict. As if to tease her, they chewed slowly; letting their taste buds savour the crunchy carrots, beansprouts, onions and rough cabbage. Without manners, Kate slurped up a noodle with a cheeky smile; soy sauce pinging onto the tip of her nose.

Swallowing in time, Kate and Robert looked at each other for a long moment, before then turning their daughter with smiles across their faces.

“This is really good, Jane” Kate beamed, already digging in her fork for another helping. Robert just nodded, his mouth already fill. Jane laughed, relaxing and helping herself to her first home cooked meal.