The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 33 - No Right

It was far from easy, walking through the forest. Alfie was by her side and still, Jane felt nothing but apprehensive; as if she was waiting for someone to jump out and take off with her. Of course, that would never happen with Alfie and their parents around, but sometimes her imagination got out of control. 

It was that damn book, she thought, moving closer to Alfie as they followed the beaten track; their parents far ahead, having their own conversation, taking pictures and the like. He wrapped his arm around her middle, pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. She felt his smile, his warmth. She felt safer, almost comforted by his presence. Almost. They didn't talk much, but she didn't mind. It wasn't tense. It was comfortable, just as it always was. Their embrace and connection was assuring enough. If anything, the silence was welcomed. She had too much to think about, and not much courage to tell Alfie every little detail. 

The skies had cleared up ever so slightly. It was still grey, but the clouds were moving quickly; small rays of sunshine trying to break through. Everywhere she looked, foliage was glowing a vivid and fresh shade of green. The whole forest was alive, more beautiful than ever before. But Jane couldn't enjoy it for what it was. She just couldn't. The book had caused such a stir within her. She'd read past Melinda's ordeal, met her attacker, felt her turmoil, hurt and loneliness. She found herself relating to her quickly, inevitably, and wanted nothing more than to reach in and comfort her; to tell her she wasn't alone. 

It was both a relief and discomfort to find a familiar; someone who had lived through the same experience, who was having the same problems, same conflicts. But she had to keep reminding herself of one thing. As Alfie had rightfully said it wasn't real. It was fictional, pretend. Melinda wasn't real, nor was her story, her friends or teachers.

But I am. It happened to me, she thought; unconsciously coming to a stop. Melinda's story wasn't uncommon. Jane was proof of that, as was many girls and, in some cases, boys across the country; young, old, black, white, rich, poor. It happened every day. Most cases don't even get investigated. Most cases aren't even told. Jane was one such case. How she wished it wasn't so.

"Jane? Hey."

She shook her head, regaining her focus and training it on Alfie. The worry lines on his forehead had reappeared, his hands cupping her elbows gently.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. "Is it...bringing back memories? Being here?"

She couldn't help but smile. He knew her so well. One look and he knew everything. Well, almost. Her smile faded, in realisation, and her gaze dropped to his shirt buttons.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, shaking her head slowly. "I thought I would be okay, but it's still strange. You know?"

He nodded, cupping her left cheek with a handsome smile. "It'll take time, to get used to places like this. But as long as I'm with you, you'll be safe. You know that right?"

"I know." And she did. She was uncertain about many things: Danielle, herself, college, even her parents. But she never doubted Alfie. He would do anything to protect her and they both knew it.

"Did you want to head back or go on? It's not far," he asked, glancing over his shoulder to the now curving path; a path completely outrun by stringing nettles and berry bushes. Their parents had vanished.

Jane swallowed her panic and tilted her head up. She couldn't let the fear consume and rule her life. She'd always found comfort in the wilderness. It was a place of wonder, of healing. She just had to remember that, and she'd make it through.

"I can't be afraid of forests for the rest of my life," she told him. She then reached up on tip toes and peaked his cheek. She savoured his delighted, if not startled expression and beamed; for the first time eager to explore. "Lead the way, Mr Young."