The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 11 - Forming Fists

Alfie was standing outside the classroom, when Jane eventually emerged; Becca and Holly at her side. At the sight of her smiling, Alfie's heart leapt. He hadn't seen her smile for a long time, at least not around other people. Jane looked up and saying a quick farewell to the girls, she skipped over to him and pecked a kiss on his lips.

"Hey" she said, almost laughing.

"Someone’s in a good mood" he chuckled, curling an arm around her waist as they walked down the busy corridor.

"I am" she admitted, her body leaning against him and feeling warm almost immediately. They walked down the crowded staircase, joined to the hip.

"So who were they?" he asked. She looked at him, "Becca and Holly. We were working together on a poem"

"A poem? You're doing poetry? You hate poetry" he laughed. Jane giggled, shaking her head, "I don't hate it. I just don't understand it. But it's okay. Holly had lots of things to say about it. She's almost as talkative as Danielle" 

In that moment, Jane remembered their argument. What if she didn’t even talk her to anymore, let alone look at her? Danni wasn't the kind of person to forgive and forget in a hurry. She would hold a grudge, but it wouldn’t be anything permanent. Or so Jane had come to believe, after nearly seven years of friendship. She sighed, letting Alfie direct her to the table Danni and Steven now sat; their heads close together and their hands, bonded in his lap. 

Jane looked around the atrium, almost tempted to find Holly again and spend time getting to know her better. Anything to avoid Steven and another confrontation, but Alfie's arm around her waist had other plans. As they got closer, Steven and Danni looked up at them; their conversation falling silent in their throats. 

Alfie saw Danni's flushed cheeks and paused, "Are we interrupting something?"

Danielle said "Yes", the same time Steven said "No"

They stared at each other, confused at how out of sync they had quickly become. Danni shook her head slightly, before collecting her bag and heading for the library. 

Jane wanted to go talk to her, but was very concerned with leaving Alfie alone with Steven. He sat back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the table as Alfie and Jane sat down side by side. 

"You wanna talk about it?" Alfie asked softly, leaning across the table. Steven, oddly quiet, shook his head and gave a small smile. Then, as if having an epiphany, Steven focused on Jane with a greedy sparkle in his eye. Jane fidgeted under his attention, turning to her phone to distract herself.

“Actually Al, would you mind if I have a quick chat with Jane?”

I mind! Jane shouted in her mind. She felt her skin crawl and not in a good way. Alfie looked over at Jane questionably, wondering why Steven would want to talk to her instead of him. Must be a best friend thing he thought, half sighing. To get to the girlfriend, Steven must first get past the best friend.

"Yeah, sure" mumbled Alfie, getting up from his seat and heading toward the cafe. Jane, frozen and feeling betrayed, refused to meet Steven's gaze. 

"If you're not gonna talk, then listen and listen carefully" he warned quietly, very conscious of people around them, "You will talk to Danni and tell her what she wants to hear. She has enough on her plate without you acting jealous and bitchy, okay?"

Jane gritted her teeth, but said nothing. I'm not jealous, she wanted to shout, Alfie is twice the man you’ll ever be! How can I ever be jealous of Danni, when she has you? You of all people!

"And if I don’t?" challenged Jane, finding her voice however shaky and still avoiding his gaze. She sensed him lean across the table, closing the distance between them. Like a ton of bricks, Jane suddenly felt suffocated. She had to remind herself to breathe every few seconds, knowing he was only a few feet away. 

"Would you feel better if I left it to your imagination?" he teased, with a hint of amusement in his voice. Without thinking, Jane looked up; desperation and shock written against her face. Steven grinned; pleased that his plan had worked so effectively. Glaring, she mimicked his forward movement; her elbows digging into the edge of the table.

"If you touch her-"

"I wouldn't order me about, if I were you Janey"

Jane shivered, but maintained her poker face or her attempt at it. Steven, for the moment seemed fooled.

"If you touch her, I will tell her everything" she threatened, hate and acid going into every word. He chuckled, looking amused "No you won't"

"You think so, do you?' she spat. Steven nodded, 'I do. You won't say anything, because you know what I'll do to her. Alfie too-"

"Leave Alfie out of this!" she hissed, unintentionally slamming her hand in the table; attracting a few worried stares and quiet remarks. She stared him down, her heart burning with intense rage and disgust.

"I will if you do" Steven countered, seeming relaxed after her outburst. He looked over his shoulder to see Alfie walking towards them with two cups and a bar of chocolate. He laughed under his breath, as he got to his feet.

“Remember what I said, Janey?" he growled, "Remember and we won't have any trouble"

Jane swallowed her remark, as Alfie returned to his seat beside her; his eyes trained on Steven. He looked completely at ease, his hands rested on the back of his chair, his body lent forward slightly.

"Man, where you going?" he asked, placing a cup in front of Jane, who smiled at him wordlessly. 

Steven motioned towards the library, "I need to talk to Danni. I'll see you tomorrow probably" he said, waving once and staring at Jane hard and meaningful. She watched him fade into the crowd, imagining a ton of bricks or a piano falling on top of him like they did in old cartoons.

She couldn’t let Steven have his way. She just couldn’t. Breaking to his every whim, would mean he had power over her. He did once and Jane, as strong as she was terrified, wasn’t going to allow that to happen again. Jane looked down at the table, trying to figure a way out of this mess. She had to protect Danni. Alfie too. But how? She couldn’t willingly submit to Steven’s demands and say it was okay for them to....do it. Jane shuddered, her hands forming into fists again.

"Is everything alright?" asked Alfie, for the first time noticing her fist; white with tension. Her hand didn’t relax, as Jane looked at him and smiled forcefully.

"Yeah, yeah of course" she stammered, looking down at her cup of tea, "He just wanted me to talk to Danni about something"

"Such as?" queried Alfie, taking a sip of his drink. Jane glanced over at him and giggled, "So nosey!"

"So secretive" he teased, leaning in closer and kissing her nose. Jane leaned back, shaking her head defiantly "No, you're not using that one on me again!" 

“Come on” he begged, with a young boy’s mischievous smile “They’re my friends too”

If only you knew, Jane thought grimly; giving out a sound between a giggle and a snort. Alfie laughed at her, slipping his hand into hers and gazing at her.

Something was different about her. She wasn’t the same girl she was yesterday. She wasn’t the girl that withered on the floor of her bedroom; screaming and crying for help. She wasn’t a ghost, pale and silent like death. Slowly, but surly the fire within her was returning; however dim, it was growing brighter and brighter with every passing day. He didn’t know why or how. But whatever it was, he was thankful.

Jane stared back at him, smiling “What?”

“Nothing” he sighed, standing up and pulling her with him, “Let’s get out of here”

“What about lessons?”

Alfie rolled his eyes, “We’ll be back in time, I promise”

Dodging the tables and chairs around them, Alfie and Jane walked to the entrance; pressing the Exit buttons on the barriers that allowed them access and together, hand in hand, they walked away from the college; heading towards the park she and Danni had walked through that same morning. With smiles across their faces, they walked around the park; talking and confiding in each other like they used to. After much insistence, Alfie opened up about his course and classmates. Jane listened intently, feeling spikes of jealousy whenever he mentioned his tutor Claire and now with the addition of Sarah. As if sensing her envy, Alfie pulled her close and kissed her long and slow. Her arms reached up over his head; keeping him near.

When she came up for air, Jane groaned “You were doing that distracting thing again, weren’t you?”

He laughed against her neck, “Did it work?”

His words, quiet and seductive, caused her to shiver and warm to the core. Like a girl falling in love for the first time, Jane felt her knees begin to tremor and knock beneath her. They hadn’t done that, since before she and Alfie were officially together. Her heart pounded like a drum. A motion she knew all too well, but in many ways it was still new. Every beat and rush of passion gave her a new meaning for being in love. For being loved. Alfie was hers and she was his. Heart, body and soul.

“Regrettably, yes” she whispered, nuzzling his neck with her nose and overwhelming her senses with the smell of him. Lemons, baby powder and Lynx lingered on his skin. He was her home in every sense of the word. His arms were her castle and his heart was her light. Alfie was her reason for getting up each morning. He was the reason behind every smile, every goosebump, every swoon and blush. Yes, she was lovesick but never for a moment, did Jane regret it.