The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 7 - Overwhelmed

"You must think I'm a mad cow" bet Jane, staring stonily at the interesting stitch work on her quilt. Beside her, Alfie rubbed her shoulder; following her stare. After she'd reached a calm, they moved onto her double bed and just sat together; their arms wrapped round each other, offering support, warmth and security. 

"I think you're lot of things" he admitted softly, "But a mad cow isn't one of them"

Jane stared at him, amazed "Weren't you in the same room as me? You saw me! I..I must have looked demented"

Alfie let out a chuckle, "Yeah, you did I won't lie"

"Thanks" Jane scoffed, burying her face into his shoulder. Alfie's chest heaved and his heart beat fast against her ear. Then his index finger hooked her chin and forced her head up; her eyes meeting his.

"I didn't mean it like that" he explained, "I was just trying to lighten the mood"

"I know" Jane whispered with a wavering smile, "You're good at that"

"I try to be" he sighed, kissing her between the eyes and snuggling down deeper into the bed. Jane adjusted her position so that she lay across him; her head in the nook of his arm, her fingers drawing circles across his chest. He shivered, her touch shocking him like electric currents. 

They lay there in silence for what felt like a long time. Alfie kept a smoothing arm around her, stroking her and warming her inside and out. Jane kept her heart in pace in his. When he inhaled, she inhaled. When he exhaled, so did she. 

Jane suddenly chuckled under her breath. Alfie nudged her, "What?"

She looked up, "My dad is gonna make you pay for my door, you know?"

"I figured as much" he sighed, glancing over at the broken door with a guilty look, "Good thing I have some money saved. Not that I had other plans for it anyway"

Jane sat up, curious "Like what?"

"Never you mind" he exclaimed smiling.

With a teasing pucker, Jane moved closer; her nose almost touching his. They were breathing the same air and Alfie loved it. He swam in it. His stomach twisted, as she kissed him.  Jane pulled back, looked deeply into his eyes for a long moment, deciding and kissed him again without hesitation. He felt the brush of her lips, light at first, and his own opened immediately beneath the gravity of her. His hold on her tightened, as the kiss deepened. Her lips tasting of mint and cherry moulded with his, moving slowly and intimately; savouring every touch.  Jane’s hands slid over his chest to meet on either side of his neck and there they stayed. Alfie kissed her harder, his breath puffing in her mouth and making her moan. In a one brisk movement, he pulled her on top of him, his hands on the edges of her shirt; his fingers spread along her sides. Jane gasped in surprise, feeling his cool fingertips begin to worm their way under her shirt. She shook, both from anticipation and fear.

“Alfie I-“ she stuttered, pulling away, “I-I-I c-cant”

Her heart racing, Jane pushed at her anxieties; trying to remind herself that this was Alfie. Not Steven. Alfie. He’s incredible, she listed, and smart, kind and funny. She looked down at Alfie, searching for any sign of disappointment or hate. But he merely smiled and leaned up to kiss her brow.

“It’s okay-“he started, but Jane now shaking her head interrupted him, “No, it’s not”

“Why?”

Jane struggled with the words for a moment. She loved him, body and soul but every part of her screamed: You don’t deserve him! If he knew…he’d hate you! You’re wrong…ALL WRONG! You’re disgusting. Why would he ever want you?!

Shivering and her lip trembling, she looked at him, “I love you. You know that right?”

“Of course…Jane, what is this about?” he replied, feeling confused at the sudden change in her. Where she was passionate, alive and happy, Jane was now worrying, fearing and over-thinking. She stared down to his chest, to his heart beneath her fingertips.

She swallowed, “I love you so much and I don’t want to disappoint you by saying no-“

“Jane” he stressed, beginning to sit up. Jane rocked back onto her knees, waiting for him for start shouting and cursing at her for being frigid. Any guy, no matter how hormonal would be disappointed and even in its smallest measurement, he’d hate her. He sighed, “Come here”

Jane surrendered to him, letting his strong hands hold her by the hips and draw her in close. Being a few inches higher than he was, Albert had to tilt his head back to gaze and marvel in her blue eyes; shining, innocent and full of love and wonder. Undeniably, her eyes were the first thing he noticed when he met her. Bright and mischievous, as she laughed and smiled at him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. But now, months on, all they seemed to be full of was worry. Worry for him, worry for herself, worry for everything. He saw her lip tremble and spoke.

“Jane, I could never be disappointed with you. Never” he affirmed with a squeeze, “And I wouldn’t want to put you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, you understand that?”

“But-“

“But nothing” he went on, “I love you and because of that, I’m willing to wait until you’re ready. There will never be anyone else but you”

“But-“ Jane stammered, but Alfie went on before she could say another word.

“If you start to think that I’ll go off and find someone else, you have another thing coming. I don’t want you to think like that. Ever! I just want you. You and all your crazy episodes and banshee screams” he laughed. Jane shared in his joke, her hands moving to his shoulders for balance.

Alfie’s expression relaxed, as he went on “But I also want all your mistakes. Your smiles, your pale skin and blushes. I even want you with a Dad, who will probably forbid me from coming over again-“

“That will never happen” Jane protested, “I’ll make sure of it”

He grinned, holding her closer and sighing contently “Jane Bernadette Parkinson, I want you. Just you and don’t you ever, ever forget it”

Jane’s heart leapt a distance unknown to man. A feeling like she had never known overwhelmed her to the state of hysterical tears and wet laughter. Gasping from happy breathlessness, she leaned against him; forehead to forehead. His pulse throbbed against her fingertips, matching hers with every stir.

“If that wasn’t a declaration of love, I don’t know what is” he jested.

Jane laughed wetly, her hands clasping his warm cheeks, "Albert Marcus Young...always the romantic"

"You love it really" he argued with a deep growl of amusement in this voice. Jane pressed her lips together and stared into his eyes. A moment of loved-filled silence passed between them, like heartbeats. 

“What in Heaven did I do to deserve you?” she whispered in a daze. Alfie bit his lip and shrugged his shoulder back, “I have no idea. I am pretty incredible”

Laughing wholeheartedly, Jane placed her lips on his with such a force that made them fall back onto the bed with a thud! The metal headboard to her bed knocked against the wall, the metal creaked underneath them. Jane, her heart restored to its pounding glory, giggled as she kissed Alfie's lips, his nose, his forehead, his cheeks, every part of him that her lips could reach. His hands caught her face and returned her lips to his with a moan of desire.

Then suddenly…

 “What the hell happened to this door?!” bellowed Jane’s father, as he stood proudly in the doorway of her bedroom.