The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 8 - Reluctant

Startled, Jane looked over her shoulder and a chill went through her, like someone had walked over her grave. The glare she received from her father, Robert made her feel seven years old again when she had accidentally dropped his mobile phone into the fish pond. His blue eyes, her eyes stared her down and like a puppet on a string, Jane stumbled off Alfie and stood nervously in the middle of her room. Alfie sat up slowly, his heart pounding against the intense and angry vibe he was now getting from him.

"D- Dad" she stammered, "I didn't expect you home until six"

"The meeting finished early" he replied bluntly.

Robert, in his iron-pressed white shirt and navy blue tie, stepped into the room slowly; his frown lines deepening across his forehead and his lips thinning into a straight and unimpressed line. He was bulky for a man of thirty-nine. Bulky, tall and hard faced, you would think him better suited for a security guard than a councillor. His greying brown hair was cut short and his beard remained stubby from ear to ear; portraying a rugged charm about him. But it was his eyes that terrified Jane the most. They were the eyes she'd inherited; deep and insightful, it hurt to look at him; knowing that he was disappointed in her. She knew this, because she shared the exact same expression. 

"What's going on?" he asked, looking over at Alfie, as if to strike him down by seer power of will.

"N-nothing" Jane said, stepping forward. Alfie, now over the shock, jumped into action and walked up behind Jane.

"The door, Mr Parkinson was my fault. I'm truly sorry-"

"I should hope you have a good explanation for destroying my home, young man" Robert demanded, crossing his beefy arms and narrowing his eyes again upon Alfie, who shivered.

"I do, Sir. You see Jane...well she-she..." stuttered Albert, looking to Jane for help. She turned and for a moment, written in her eyes and in her face, he saw only one plea: Don't tell him what happened!

"Well what?" bellowed Robert, growing impatient. Alfie jumped, quickly looking at him, "Jane fainted"

"Yeah, Dad" she confirmed with a nod "The college sent me home for being sick today and I was just getting changed, when I fainted"

"That doesn't explain the door, Jane"

"I may have accidentally locked it" Jane admitted sheepishly, looking down at the floor. If she was honest with herself, Jane couldn't remember ever locking the door. Hallucination Steven had and simply acknowledging that, stirred in her a new kind of fear.

"It was silly of me, I realise that now but Alfie had no way in other than kicking it down" she went on, "I'll pay for the door, Dad. I'll do chores for a month" 

Robert sighed loudly, holding his hands up and storming out without another word. Alfie and Jane listened to him go down both sets of stairs, then with a bang, knew he'd entered the kitchen. Jane let out a breath and turned to Alfie who was as white as a sheet.

"Are you okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his cheek.

"Why didn't you tell him? About...it?" Alfie sighed, moving away towards the window.

"I can't tell my dad, because then my mum will find out and she'll put me through therapy again and...I can't do that to her. She thinks I'm getting better and I want it to stay that way"

"But are you really?" he asked, approaching her like her father did a few minutes before. Jane swallowed, seeing genuine concern in his face. His eyes pleaded for the truth and however much she wanted to, Jane couldn't tell. 

"I think I am" she murmured, looking at her hands, letting both honesty and deception fall from her lips "There are days...when it's bad. I remember...shapes, sounds and darkness. But there are times, when I forget completely because I'm so happy"

She smiled, as she reached up and wrapped her arms around Alfie's neck, "You make me happy, Mr Young" 

Alfie huffed, almost annoyed  "Why can't I ever stay mad at you?"

"Well, I am pretty incredible" she giggled, mimicking his words with a heavy and almost boyish tone. Laughing, he curled his arms around her and bent down to kiss her hard on the lips. 

Again, Jane melted into his touch. She leaned into him, his hands bringing to life every nerve and secret desire she had hidden in her body. Alfie's lips, desperate and in love, forced her mouth open, his hot tongue moving pass her teeth and exploring the untouched spaces of her mouth. As her chest gasped, a moan escaped her and Alfie's hold on her became unbreakable. Surprised by her own desire for adventure, Jane pursued deeper into his mouth; tasting him like never before. The faded taste of oranges lingered on his tongue and now on hers. Alfie's hands slipped under her shirt and squeezed suggestively. Responding almost immediately, she pushed back against him, forcing him back on to the bed; with her again on top. He sighed into her mouth, his hands moving up her body until they reached her bra strap; goosebumps appearing like footprints along her skin.

But then, in the pits of her stomach and beyond, Jane felt it; a pain, a need. It was growing, becoming overwhelming. The intensity of it shook her. 

Stop it, Jane! A voice urged in her head, Stop!

Breaking away with a cry, Jane panted; almost feeling light-headed. Shaking, she rested her head on Alfie's and took deep breaths. He removed his hands from her back and closed his eyes; trying, like her, to restore some calm to the stormy sea of their emotions. 

"If I wasn't okay before, I'm definitely not now" panted Alfie, stroking her arms, "I better go, before I do something we'll both regret"

Jane nodded stiffly, her throat feeling dry and lost "I think that's best" 

--

They stood by the door, holding each other tightly; neither too eager to let go. Jane wanted him to stay, to keep her demons away, to keep her need for him satisfied with kisses and tender touches. But, it was getting on for five o'clock and she knew his mum would start to worry about him. Ever since his dad left, she worried frantically about Alfie doing the same. It seemed he was now responsible for keeping two women sane.

Jane pulled back with a sigh and glanced up at him, "Thanks for today"

"Which part?" he said, his cheeks reddening and his eyes shining.

She caught on and squeezed his hips tightly, "That part and for bringing me home. I'm sorry for making you miss your first day"

"Oh, don't worry about that” he said, waving away her worry, “It was mostly just going over the modules and what assignments we'd be doing. I can catch up easily"

Jane started to play with his buttons again, while asking “I never asked about your class. What are the people like, your tutor?

“They’re okay” he admitted with a half shrug, “Loud, like most teenager boys are, but they’re okay. Now Claire, my tutor, is very okay”

Jane's hands froze and her mouth dropped, "Claire?"

"You're so cute when you're jealous" he laughed, running his finger along her brow to remove the frown lines. “But seriously, she’s okay. A bit strict, but isn’t every tutor?”  

Jane relaxed slightly, "Okay then and I weren't jealous"

"Yes, you were" purred Alfe, leaning down and kissing her. Not with as much passion and urgency as before, but still enough to send her heart into a frenzy. With his hands around her jaw, he felt the blood rushing through her veins, pulsing with excitement. Alfie pulled her face an inch away from his; his head resting on hers. 

"Will you be in college tomorrow?" he asked, placing a loose strand of hair behind Jane's ear.

“I’m not sure” she shrugged, gazing up at him, “I don’t want to miss another day, so I’ll tell and convince my mum. I’ll text you when I know”

"Good. Did you want me to pick you up again?" 

"I'll text Danni and see if she'll walk with me. I can't be getting lazy" she chuckled, "However much I want to spend time with you, I can't distract you and let you get behind" 

"It's worth it" 

Alfie pressed his lips together, feeling her touch and wanting to remember it. She'd been so careful with him the past few months and today, Alfie felt she'd finally come out of her shell. Or at least let him in, when she used to push him away. Jane stared at him, again feeling the urge to kiss him and make herself disappear into his arms. But, with a slight reluctant push, she rejected her needs.

"Go" she urged with a crooked smile, "I don't want Julie to start panicking" 

He chuckled, kissing her one more time and whispered, "I love you"

Jane pecked his lips and smiled, "I love you too"

"What, no Star Wars references this time?" 

She rolled her eyes with a grin and shoved him away, "Get out of here!" 

He laughed, walking across the road to his car. Jane felt her heart plummet at the sudden rush of loneliness that now dawned on her. From his car, Alfie waved once before turning away from the curb and continuing on down the road.  

Jane stood by the door for a long moment or two, trying to remain calm and resist the urge to scream, to call him back. In the back of her thoughts, she felt her demons knock, their chains rattling and weakening. Eventually shutting and locking the door behind her, she turned to see her father standing there. 

"Jane, I'm not impressed" he sighed, his arms crossed over his chest, "I thought you were more mature than that"

"Dad, nothing happened" she mumbled, heading up the stairs. Robert called her to a stop and she reluctantly turned. 

"I just want you to be careful, Jane. That's all. And pretending you was sick to spend time with him-"

"But I was sick!" Jane shrieked, "You can call up the college and have them tell you. Call Danielle, she'll tell you"

"And Albert is conveniently here alone with you-"

She growled, "Dad, Alfie is my boyfriend! He drove me home to make sure I was alright. Will you just let up on him for once in your life?" 

"Don't talk to me like that, young lady!" he shouted, his face glowing bright red. Then, a key turned in the door and in came Kate, with an orange Sainsbury’s bag. She looked anxiously between her daughter and husband.

"What's going on?" she asked, slipping off her heels. 

Jane sighed, resigning herself to losing the argument. She wouldn't upset her mother. She couldn't bring herself to.

"Nothing" she murmured, turning and running up the stairs. 

"We haven't finished, Jane!" her dad called up the stairs. 

"Well I'm done with you!" Jane snapped, slamming her already broken door. The lock banged against the ruined lock and the wood creaked, unhealthily.

This is Robert Parkinson a.k.a Aidan Quinn. Is he how you envisioned Jane's father? Leave comments below  >>