The R Word (On Hold)

Chapter 27 - The Lake House (Alfie's POV)

"Please say something," said Jane after a long and uncomfortable silence. Alfie's hands tightened around the steering wheel; his gaze transfixed on the busy motorway in front of him.

They had been driving for nearly an hour and had not spoken a single word to one another. Indeed, the silence was killing him, but Alfie was determined not to give in. He was more than just upset with Jane. He was pissed off. Not only had she ignored him all day, but she had the nerve to call and invite both he and his mother to a weekend break in the middle of nowhere. Not that he wasn't grateful, it had been years since he'd been away, but still he was annoyed that she'd avoided the real elephant in the room - or rather the car.

He took in a sharp breath and frowned. He wasn't going to talk. He wasn't in the right frame of mind. He could say something he would regret later. Alfie didn't want to do anything that could upset his mum. His stomach rolled; remembering the jovial look on her face as she packed up her small suitcase. He had never seen her smile so much. All the stress seemed to fall off her shoulders; making her giddy and childish. He had never seen her so excited.

He had agreed to come, only because she persuaded him. It will be fun she told him. The fresh air will do wonders for you and Jane. Who knows? Maybe something magical will happen.

There wasn't any chance of that happening while they were at odds with each other.

Alfie looked out the corner of his eye and saw Jane staring out the window; watching the hills roll on by, the green fields turn to golden wheat, then grey concrete walls. He looked forward, searching for the Parkinson car that occupied her parents and his mum. He spied it a few cars in front and changed lanes to get behind it. He had no clue where he was going. All he knew was that they were heading into Essex.

Since passing his driving test,  he'd never strayed far from his hometown, so naturally this venture set him on edge. He didn't want to get lost. Especially with Jane. He couldn't talk to her yet. If he was honest, he didn't know what to say to her. Every time he tried to think of somewhere to start, the conversation exploded into World War Three! Who was he kidding? He would explode! He had never felt so much rage. And it wasn't even directed at Jane personally, just her actions.

What kind of person leaves someone they love in the dark? What kind of person cancels without a single word, no explanation, no apology? What gave Jane the right to do that to him?

Maybe you're blowing this out of proposition.

His frown deepened. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn't. Either way, Alfie knew this problem was not going away in a hurry. A simple sorry was not going to fix this.

Jane exclaimed, angrily, suddenly and he startled. "Okay! I get it! I deserve the silent treatment! I ditch you for one poxy day and you hate me for it! I get it and I'm sorry-"

"Sorry isn't always going to solve your problems Jane!" he shouted, unable to keep it contained anymore. His heart pumped and his hands started to sweat.

"I never said it would, but it's all I can say! What do I have to do to make you forgive me?"

"Oh for God's sake Jane, it's not a case of forgiving you. It's a case of not letting me know you didn't want to meet up," he exclaimed, concentrating hard on the dark green Ford in front of him. The air in the car was suddenly thick and suffocatingly hot.

"I get it if you were sick, tired, doing college work, house chores, I get that but you still could have let me know. I was waiting around for your call all day. Did you ever consider that I had better things to do with my time than wait around for you? I could have got in an extra shift at work and earned some money for God's sake! I have bills to pay and myself and mum to feed. Did you ever consider that?"